Thoughts To Ponder #6

Plant Your Spiritual Garden:

Plant three rows of peas: -Peace of mind -Peace of heart -Peace of soul

Plant four rows of squash: -Squash gossip -Squash indifference -Squash grumbling -Squash selfishnes5A8s

Plant four rows of lettuce: -Lettuce be faithful -Lettuce be kind -Lettuce be focused on health and wellness -Lettuce love one another

No garden is complete without turnips: -Turnip for family, friends and important issues -Turnip for service -Turnip to help one another

Water freely with patience and cultivate with love: -There is much fruit in your garden, because you reap what you sow.

To conclude your garden you need thyme: -Thyme for Spirituality -Thyme for study -Thyme to be quiet and listen to your inner voice. Author unknown

Consciousness - paying attention, knowing what's going on - is not just something for spiritually enlightened people, but it's something that makes a huge difference in a person's life, in a group's life, in a company's life, in a society's life. - Fred Kofman

'To live a more contemplative way of life is a matter of cultivating a remembrance of one's own moments of spontaneous contemplative experience, then trusting that these moments are actually the true nature of every moment.' - James Finley

As human beings we are constantly trying to find solid ground on which to stand, but from that solid ground we also want a relationship with the intangible. If poetry is anything it is that relationship - the conversation between what is solid, grounded, and real in our life and what we long for in the untouchable, the num529inous, the eternal. - David Whyte

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Imporve Your Life, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Joan Borysenko

Are You Ready To Be More Confident

Do you realize that lack of confidence in yourself limits every aspect of your life? You have held yourself back in your job, in your relationships and even kept your inner power stamped down. Sometimes it really is a simple matter of changing how you see yourself. Negative thoughts about yourself come from a lifetime of practice in some cases. Everyone has painful experiences that come along with negative reinforcement. It is possible to create a more positive image of yourself and be more confident in every part of your life.

Here are some simple ways to start allowing more positive energy into your life.

1) Simply seeing yourself as an unfinished work is a good place to start. If you were done growing, there would be no more need to learn. It is a fact of life that there is always someone who is more intelligent, more courageous, and better in some manner. If you are trying to 16C1measure up to the impossible, it is time to readjust your thinking. Set an affirmation that you will only get better every day. You may be unfinished in many ways, but every part of you is worthy of respect, especially from you.

2) Act the way you want things to be even if they are not yet real. This is the old "fake it til you make it" method. This really does work if you give it a little time and put the energy into it. Pretending something is true affects the way your mind works. This is not a long term solution, but it can give you a kick start in building your confidence. The next time you have to attend one of those boring company lunches, act as if you are the most self-confident person there. Think about how a person who really is ultra confident would act in that situation. Attitude has a lot to do with feeling confident.

3) Make a list of all of your good qualities. You have more than you realize or are willing to acknowledge. Acting confident is a good start but you need to get at the root of why you have a negative image of yourself so you can start building a lasting change in your attitude. Take stock of the good things you have done in your life and what you have accomplished. The list will be longer than you think right now. Start talking nicer to yourself and appreciate your skills and talents. You may not be perfect (who is?) but you are not as bad as you think.

These are things that will continue for your whole life. No one ever gets finished with learning and growing. Learn to appreciate the you that is new every day.

Robin Skeen
http://www.robinskeen.com

Robin lives in the lovely state of Ohio, USA. She is a freelance writer and her website contains her reflections on inspired personal growth - transforming body, mind and spirit so you can live your best life NOW! To find out more, visit today at http://www.robinskeen.com and check back on a regular basis for free reports and eBooks.

Beth Moore

The Action Steps To Success

Just like everything else in life, success is achieved through a series of steps. Think of it like a staircase. You are on the ground floor and want to get to the top level. Depending on the steps that you create will make the journey easier or harder. If you set the steps three feet high it will be very difficult but if you set them up to be six inches high it will be much easier.

If you havent sat down and wrote out the steps that it will take for you to reach the success that you want, thats the first thing that you need to do. Knowing what it will take to get to where you want to go is very important. The first steps that come to your mind will probably be that large major ones that are necessary.

Once you have these large steps written down you need to create steps within those steps. This will help you make more manageable steps for you to climb. If you need to, go a bit further and create steps within those steps as well. The smaller you can break everything down the more manageable it will become.

Now that you have all of this stuff written down you have the action steps that it will take for you to reach success. Of course the most important thing for you to do now is to implement these steps. Steps are no good if they are not climbed. If you get to a certain step and realize that it is to big for you, repeat the same process and break it down into steps that you can manage. Before you know it you will be well on your way to success.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free here: Find Your Greatness

Do you want to learn how to create successful habits and goals? Download Jasons new FREE ebook here: Goal Setting

Jason Osborn has dedicated himself to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through his Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

Making Your Thoughts Work

A Checklist for Changing Me to Change Them

"The cruelest lies are often told in silence." Robert Lewis Stevenson, 19th century Scottish poet, novelist, and essayist

We can't build a team or organization that's different from us. We can't make them into something we're not. Failing to follow this principle is the single biggest reason that so many team and organization change and improvement efforts flounder or fail. The changes and improvements we try to make to others must ring true to the changes and improvements we're also trying to make to ourselves. The following is a checklist:

Are You Trying to Make Your Organization or Team Into Something You're Not?

To What Extent am I:

Attempting to change my organization or team without changing myself?

__ Prodding my organization to be more people (customer/partner) focused when I am a Technomanager (driven by management systems and technology)?

__ Driving for industry or market leadership when I am afflicted with the Pessimism Plague and/or Victimitis Virus?

__ Striving to stimulate and energize others when I am not pa59Cssionate about my own role and life's work?

__ Promoting organization or team vision, values, and mission when my own picture of my preferred future, principles, and purpose aren't clear and/or well aligned with where I am trying to lead others.

__ Pushing for a customer-driven organization while controlling and dominating, rather than serving (servant-leadership)?

__ Aspiring to develop new markets and fill unmet needs while spending limited time with customers, partners, or those serving them?

__ Trying to build a learning organization when my own rate of personal growth and development is low?

__ Declaring the urgency of higher levels of innovation while I stick to familiar personal methods and traditional command and control management approaches?

__ Aiming for disciplined organization or team goal and priority setting when I am not well organized, a poor personal time manager, and fuzzy about my own goals and priorities?

__ Setting organization improvement plans without an improvement process of my own?

__ Promoting teamwork and a team-based organization without providing a personal model of team leadership and team effectiveness in action?

__ Supporting high levels of skill development for everyone else?

__ Forcing accountability, performance appraisal, and measurement on others while I defend, avoid, or half-heartedly gather personal feedback?5B4

__ Proclaiming empowerment and involvement while controlling and limiting people with a centralized structure and systems that constrain rather than support?

__ Talking about the need for better communications without becoming a strong and compelling communicator?

__ Establishing formal reward and recognition programs when my personal habits of giving sincere recognition and showing genuine appreciation are weak?

__ Espousing support for change champions while suppressing "off the wall" behavior and pushing people to follow my plans and stay within in my established system?

__ Advocating reviews and assessments while doing little personal reflection and contemplation?

What do my answers tell me about my leadership? Does this exercise help explain the positive, negative, or so-so results of the team and organization improvement efforts I lead? My reflections are important, but an even better source of feedback are the people on my team or those in my organization who know my leadership behavior well enough to give me some feedback. Ironically (and tragically), managers who need it most the weakest leaders are the least likely to ask for this kind of feedback.

Jim Clemmer is a bestselling author and internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management t481eam developer on leadership, change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. During the last 25 years he has delivered over two thousand customized keynote presentations, workshops, and retreats. Jim's five international bestselling books include The VIP Strategy, Firing on All Cylinders, Pathways to Performance, Growing the Distance, and The Leader's Digest. His web site is http://www.clemmer.net/articles

Jehovah

Building Great Soulmate Relationships

Building great soulmate relationships in life takes time and commitment. If you choose to spend time and you choose to commit you WILL most certainly build a relationship that will bring you joy and contentment. Some keys to building great relationships include:

Connect with the one that you love
Make time to remind your soulmate that they are special. Write them a note, send an email, sms or phone them during the day at work. Do something that you know will be meaningful to your partner. Make sure your efforts dont go to waste; connect with them keeping their love language in mind. Be intentional about making a daily connection in the middle of your busy life.

Plan your time
The old saying fail to plan and you will plan to fail is so true when it comes to soulmate relationships. Planning your time is of utmost importance in building great soulmate relationships. The average couple is so busy with work, catching up with friends and other responsibilities that sometimes in an established relationship you can fail to plan to spend time together. Check your calendars each week and make note of time when you will be together. Be intentional about spending casual social time together and also about spending quality time building into your soulmate relationship. A regular date night is a great idea.

Be protective of your soulmate relationship
At times healthy jealousy is a must in relationships. If you are not going to protect your soulmate relationship, who will? Dont allow yourself to be in situations that compromise the integrity of your relationship with your partner. Always remember that soulmate relationships can last forever- make sure that the emotional needs of your partner are being met. Dont take each other for granted. Your relationship is important.

Dont forget the special occasions!
Use your diary or the reminder function in your mobile phone; make a note of birthdays, anniversaries and special events. Talk about important events and make sure that both partners expectations are equal. Unnecessary tension can result in a relationship due to unmet expectations. If you would like to go away for your anniversary make sure that your partner knows! They are not mind readers. It may seem to take the spontaneity and romance out of it all but in the long run your soulmate relationship will be stronger as a result of discussing such issues.

Introduce surprise to your relationship
Assuming your partner likes surprises, and you have time, there are many ways you can surprise them. Organise with their boss that they will take an extended lunch break and take them out to lunch, send flowers, a card, chocolates- the options are endless and can really add spice to your life together. Interrupt the mundane with a surprise and youll be amazed at what it does for your soulmate relationship.

Get away with your friends
If you are in a steady relationship make sure that you havent become exclusive with your partner and in the process lost all of your friends! This is a common mistake that couples make when entering into a relationship. At the start everything is new and very exciting and before you know it you have neglected the old friend that you have had since high school. Friendships are important and it is healthy to have mutual friends and for each person to have their own friends in a relationship. It brings diversity and spending time apart only makes the heart grow fonder!

Become a student of your partner
If you are in a relationship you need to become a full-time student of your partner. Make it your mission to learn everything there is to know about them. Their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, how they relate to others, how they feel most loved. When you take the focus off yourself and your needs and focus on your partner you will discover that you are in the process of building a great relationship. As you focus on your partner they will become more focused on you- it is always better to give than to receive!

Anita Rossow has a Bachelor Degree in Education and is passionate about seeing and helping people grow in all areas of their lives. See her homepage at http://www.soulmatediscovery.com. If you would like to find out more about love languages and finding your Soulmate visit: Soulmate

Flight From Egypt

Being Able To Say No

Do you easily manage to say No to someone who wants a favour from you, while deep inside you feel you want to refuse? Or do you, like I used to do for quite some time, roll across your feeling with a bulldozer and say: Yes, of course .., because you feel uncomfortable saying No.

If you are prepared to follow the self motivation tips hereunder you will create healthier boundaries and with some self motivation exercise you will ultimately acquire the necessary self motivation skills.

I remember it took me quite some time to change from a person who wanted to please others, into a person who is consciously aware of what he feels and really stands for what he wants.

I used to waist far too much time with projects and activities that I really did not want to do. I was simply spending valuable moments of my time on other peoples good opportunities.

My mentor taught me how important it was for me to become experienced at feeling what I felt, at questioning myself if this was what I truly wanted, and at saying No if it wasnt.

Learning to live our full potential also means that we have to learn to not always say Yes to what other people want. We can only move forward with our dreams and goals if we are focused on the things that will produce them.

My mentor made me decide on what I wanted in my life and what I didnt. He convinced me to make these my personal policies. If I didnt want to let friends borrow money any longer, then I had to make it my personal policy. If I didnt want to discuss important business de5B4als over the phone anymore, then I had to make that my personal policy.

In general its not difficult to say to people what our policies are and we dont even have to say the word No. People tend to respect policies. And its likely that no one will take them personally. They simply realize its a healthy boundary you have set for all occasions.

It gets more tricky to say No , however, when what we are being offered sounds attractive. How can we determine for ourselves what is a good choice and what isnt?

I have learned to put such opportunity in writing, close my eyes and ask myself the following questions:

First of all I ask myself: Would doing this be in my highest option?, and when I feel it is, I ask myself what kind of information I need to gather and what I would need to do to make it happen.

Next I compare that information with what I know about achieving my goals. Is everything in line or is this opportunity leading me down a different path? Is it harmonizing with the purpose I am passionate about, or does it simply sound better than what I am doing at that moment?

Its good to talk to a mentor or other advisors about potential opportunities and reflect on their knowledge and expertise. They can help to become aware of whats involved and they can help to stay focused on our goals and dreams.

After a couple of years of practice I have learned to sta5A3y focused on my higher goals and I have learned to say no to good opportunities that interfere with my higher goals. I had to discover that I was not rejected for saying No. Actually I noticed that people respected me for my clarity and drive.

You know, we are in control of how we feel and how we behave and express ourselves, and so are others. That means that if other people get upset with you saying No, well, thats their choice. Isnt it?

Ab van Deemter (http://www.passiontogrow.com) is a Personal Growth specialist and a spiritual person, who believes in sharing his knowledge of personal perseverance. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods for many, many years and embarked on a life of success. With successful tools for personal freedom he has made it past a life full of obstacles and now mentors and teaches business owners, their staff, his own employees, as well as a large group of private individuals.

Keeping our vibrational energy high

Face Personal Challenges

1. Every day, try to free yourself from the desire for perfection and allow your confidence to grow. It was the Buddhist Lama Yeshe who said, Self-confidence is not a feeling of superiority, but of independence. That is an important point to remember: that you do not feel good because you are better than someone else. You feel good purely because of your own efforts and achievements. Confidence is not puffed up, arrogant, selfish or boastful. It is a quiet and unmistakable authority which motivates and inspires others. Self-confidence comes from being challenged to ones limits, meeting the challenges, having a sense of fulfilment and then setting new limits. We can only learn by admitting we dont know everything, and never will.

As another Buddhist advises, Be light, humorous, eager to learn, courageous to change and not afraid of making mistakes. Emotionally beating yourself u167Cp is not helping you or the world; it does not change the past nor does it change the future. It only makes the present miserable. Absolutely.

2. Perseverance
This quality will make a big difference to your life, so please bear it in mind. Do not not expect everything to happen at once or overnight, but it should not take too long either. Life is a journey, not a series of unconnected events. If you treat it as such, you will always be ready for the unexpected pit stop. You will accept that life will go on for you, with every day being a different one, until you dont exist anymore. The extent to which you enjoy and benefit from your life depends on the state in which you make that journey, whether you are positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist.

Having off-days in emotions, when you have to recharge to face the next day or hurdle, is absolutely fine too. Dont fall into despair just because your mood changes and you feel overwhelmed, sad or anxious at any particular time. We are not machines. The off-days are as important for recharging those emotional batteries as the good days. Its when every day is an off-day that life is truly problematic. If your self-esteem is consistently low, or youve tried confidence remedies and there is no improvement at all, it might be worth seeking professional help. It could be that you never really developed a high opinion of yourself during your childhood and you now lack a firm, positive base to build on in appreciating yourself as a valid, but flawed, extraordinary human being.

3. Take Risks
If you have a problem or worry, it means it is time for change and something needs to be done differently. If you do not change, you will keep getting the same old problem. Always approach new experiences as opportunities to learn and develop rather than occasions to merely win or lose. Doing so presents new possibilities for your abilities which can increase your sense of self-worth, while providing opportunities to release that inner talent and reserve. Its always the challenge of the new, and the act of accepting these challenges at varying levels, which increase our self-confidence. Not doing so turns every possibility into a projected failure and inhibits personal growth.

For example, as I encourage contributions and opinions from our small office of four staff, it is often like a mad inventors studio where we have many ideas for the business every week, while accepting that only few will ever work. The main outcome is that everyone has a sense of ownership and responsibility for every aspect of their work, making even the most junior worker feel significant. The beauty is to give room for those thoughts, to take the risks which seem realistic, and to wait. The right ones will always work, though perhaps not in the way we expect, or the time expected. Doing nothing simply brings us nothing.

4. Dont Be Defeated
If at first you dont succeed, try something else. Everyone fails before they succeed. Think back to when you were a baby and learning to walk. You crawled first, then you stood up in an unsteady way, constantly landing on your bum. But repeatedly doing this improved your balance and built your confidence to take those first magical steps. Then you walked and, before long, you were running. However, there would have been many false starts and landings before you were able to run. As an adult, all you need is the same belief in, and patience with, yourself; the time to grow confidently and the determination to stick at it. By the law of averages, you will succeed in the end.

I am a living example of that with the business I created. Twelve years on, it is only just beginning to respond in the way I first envisaged because I too had to develop and grow with it. It doesnt mean I never had self-doubts, never felt foolhardy or demoralised, or not wanted to pack it in especially in the face of a lack of support and too many crises. But the success is all the more enjoyable and well earned because of the long wait, personal enjoyment and persistent self-belief involved.

How HAPPY are YOU? Try our simple HAPPINESS QUIZ to test how you feel about yourself just now. Being unhappy robs you of opportunities and success. How do you REALLY feel now?

ELAINE SIHERA (http://www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. Confidential advice on personal/relationship issues is available on the quiz site. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous and Ready to Fly!"

Louise Hay