Saturday, June 28, 2008

Emotional and Spiritual Growth

The Rules for Being Human, author unknown, are posted on a plethora of web sites. While these rules are helpful, there is one fundamental flaw in its wordingthat being that we are here to learn lessons. The concept of learning lessons is flawed in that it flies in the face of Carl Jungs concept of The Collective Unconscious, and the fundamental laws of human existence.

The collective unconscious refers to that part of a person's unconscious which is common to all human beings. It co103Bntains archetypes, which are forms or symbols that are manifested by all people in all cultures. They are said to exist prior to experience, and are in this sense instinctual. Critics have argued that this is an ethnocentrist view, which universalized Jung's European-styled archetypes into human beings' archetypes.

Less mystical proponents of the Jungian model hold that the collective unconscious can be adequately explained as arising in each individual from shared instinct, common experience, and shared culture. The natural process of generalization in the human mind combines these common traits and experiences into a mostly identical substratum of the unconscious. Thus, it can be said that we all have access to the same archetypal information and therefore, we are remembering what we have known since the beginning of our existence from the source. The source being the entity we call God, Higher Self, Essence Greater than Oneself or any name people use to identify this unseen, unheard, unobserved, and therefore unknown-by-anyone-else entity.

Therefore, I offer to you a revised edition of The Rules for Being Human: I will title itLaws of RememberingEmotional and Spiritual Growth.

1. You have a body. You may like it or hate it, but it is the one you chose for the entire period this time around.
2. You will have the opportunity to Remember everything you choose to remember. You are enrolled in a full-time informal experience of Remembering. Each day you will have the opportunity to Remember what you choose to remember. You may like what you remember or you may think it irrelevant and/or stupid.
3. There are no mistakesOnly opportunities to Remember. Emotional and Spiritual growth is a process of trail and error: Experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately prompts you to Remember what you have known since the beginning of existence.
4. An opportunity to Remember is presented until you choose to Remember. An opportunity to remember will be presented to you in various forms until you have remembered it. When you have remembered it, you can then go on to the next opportunity to Remember.
5. Opportunities to Remember do not end. There is no part of life that does not contain opportunities. The opportunity to Remember is infinite and continues for infinity.
6. 'There' is no Better than Here. When your There becomes a Here, you will obtain another There that will again look better than Here.
7. Others are Mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need to Remember. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Lifes questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust you are part of the whole.
10. You will forget your soul's sole purpose is to Remember.
11. You can remember it whenever you choose.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, international speaker, and inspirational leader specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening.

Oprah Winfrey

Thoughts To Ponder #6

Plant Your Spiritual Garden:

Plant three rows of peas: -Peace of mind -Peace of heart -Peace of soul

Plant four rows of squash: -Squash gossip -Squash indifference -Squash grumbling -Squash selfishnes5A8s

Plant four rows of lettuce: -Lettuce be faithful -Lettuce be kind -Lettuce be focused on health and wellness -Lettuce love one another

No garden is complete without turnips: -Turnip for family, friends and important issues -Turnip for service -Turnip to help one another

Water freely with patience and cultivate with love: -There is much fruit in your garden, because you reap what you sow.

To conclude your garden you need thyme: -Thyme for Spirituality -Thyme for study -Thyme to be quiet and listen to your inner voice. Author unknown

Consciousness - paying attention, knowing what's going on - is not just something for spiritually enlightened people, but it's something that makes a huge difference in a person's life, in a group's life, in a company's life, in a society's life. - Fred Kofman

'To live a more contemplative way of life is a matter of cultivating a remembrance of one's own moments of spontaneous contemplative experience, then trusting that these moments are actually the true nature of every moment.' - James Finley

As human beings we are constantly trying to find solid ground on which to stand, but from that solid ground we also want a relationship with the intangible. If poetry is anything it is that relationship - the conversation between what is solid, grounded, and real in our life and what we long for in the untouchable, the num529inous, the eternal. - David Whyte

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Imporve Your Life, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening.

Joan Borysenko

Friday, June 27, 2008

Are You Ready To Be More Confident

Do you realize that lack of confidence in yourself limits every aspect of your life? You have held yourself back in your job, in your relationships and even kept your inner power stamped down. Sometimes it really is a simple matter of changing how you see yourself. Negative thoughts about yourself come from a lifetime of practice in some cases. Everyone has painful experiences that come along with negative reinforcement. It is possible to create a more positive image of yourself and be more confident in every part of your life.

Here are some simple ways to start allowing more positive energy into your life.

1) Simply seeing yourself as an unfinished work is a good place to start. If you were done growing, there would be no more need to learn. It is a fact of life that there is always someone who is more intelligent, more courageous, and better in some manner. If you are trying to 16C1measure up to the impossible, it is time to readjust your thinking. Set an affirmation that you will only get better every day. You may be unfinished in many ways, but every part of you is worthy of respect, especially from you.

2) Act the way you want things to be even if they are not yet real. This is the old "fake it til you make it" method. This really does work if you give it a little time and put the energy into it. Pretending something is true affects the way your mind works. This is not a long term solution, but it can give you a kick start in building your confidence. The next time you have to attend one of those boring company lunches, act as if you are the most self-confident person there. Think about how a person who really is ultra confident would act in that situation. Attitude has a lot to do with feeling confident.

3) Make a list of all of your good qualities. You have more than you realize or are willing to acknowledge. Acting confident is a good start but you need to get at the root of why you have a negative image of yourself so you can start building a lasting change in your attitude. Take stock of the good things you have done in your life and what you have accomplished. The list will be longer than you think right now. Start talking nicer to yourself and appreciate your skills and talents. You may not be perfect (who is?) but you are not as bad as you think.

These are things that will continue for your whole life. No one ever gets finished with learning and growing. Learn to appreciate the you that is new every day.

Robin Skeen

Robin lives in the lovely state of Ohio, USA. She is a freelance writer and her website contains her reflections on inspired personal growth - transforming body, mind and spirit so you can live your best life NOW! To find out more, visit today at and check back on a regular basis for free reports and eBooks.

Beth Moore

The Action Steps To Success

Just like everything else in life, success is achieved through a series of steps. Think of it like a staircase. You are on the ground floor and want to get to the top level. Depending on the steps that you create will make the journey easier or harder. If you set the steps three feet high it will be very difficult but if you set them up to be six inches high it will be much easier.

If you havent sat down and wrote out the steps that it will take for you to reach the success that you want, thats the first thing that you need to do. Knowing what it will take to get to where you want to go is very important. The first steps that come to your mind will probably be that large major ones that are necessary.

Once you have these large steps written down you need to create steps within those steps. This will help you make more manageable steps for you to climb. If you need to, go a bit further and create steps within those steps as well. The smaller you can break everything down the more manageable it will become.

Now that you have all of this stuff written down you have the action steps that it will take for you to reach success. Of course the most important thing for you to do now is to implement these steps. Steps are no good if they are not climbed. If you get to a certain step and realize that it is to big for you, repeat the same process and break it down into steps that you can manage. Before you know it you will be well on your way to success.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don't know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, 'Find Your Greatness'

Get it free here: Find Your Greatness

Do you want to learn how to create successful habits and goals? Download Jasons new FREE ebook here: Goal Setting

Jason Osborn has dedicated himself to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through his Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

Making Your Thoughts Work

A Checklist for Changing Me to Change Them

"The cruelest lies are often told in silence." Robert Lewis Stevenson, 19th century Scottish poet, novelist, and essayist

We can't build a team or organization that's different from us. We can't make them into something we're not. Failing to follow this principle is the single biggest reason that so many team and organization change and improvement efforts flounder or fail. The changes and improvements we try to make to others must ring true to the changes and improvements we're also trying to make to ourselves. The following is a checklist:

Are You Trying to Make Your Organization or Team Into Something You're Not?

To What Extent am I:

Attempting to change my organization or team without changing myself?

__ Prodding my organization to be more people (customer/partner) focused when I am a Technomanager (driven by management systems and technology)?

__ Driving for industry or market leadership when I am afflicted with the Pessimism Plague and/or Victimitis Virus?

__ Striving to stimulate and energize others when I am not pa59Cssionate about my own role and life's work?

__ Promoting organization or team vision, values, and mission when my own picture of my preferred future, principles, and purpose aren't clear and/or well aligned with where I am trying to lead others.

__ Pushing for a customer-driven organization while controlling and dominating, rather than serving (servant-leadership)?

__ Aspiring to develop new markets and fill unmet needs while spending limited time with customers, partners, or those serving them?

__ Trying to build a learning organization when my own rate of personal growth and development is low?

__ Declaring the urgency of higher levels of innovation while I stick to familiar personal methods and traditional command and control management approaches?

__ Aiming for disciplined organization or team goal and priority setting when I am not well organized, a poor personal time manager, and fuzzy about my own goals and priorities?

__ Setting organization improvement plans without an improvement process of my own?

__ Promoting teamwork and a team-based organization without providing a personal model of team leadership and team effectiveness in action?

__ Supporting high levels of skill development for everyone else?

__ Forcing accountability, performance appraisal, and measurement on others while I defend, avoid, or half-heartedly gather personal feedback?5B4

__ Proclaiming empowerment and involvement while controlling and limiting people with a centralized structure and systems that constrain rather than support?

__ Talking about the need for better communications without becoming a strong and compelling communicator?

__ Establishing formal reward and recognition programs when my personal habits of giving sincere recognition and showing genuine appreciation are weak?

__ Espousing support for change champions while suppressing "off the wall" behavior and pushing people to follow my plans and stay within in my established system?

__ Advocating reviews and assessments while doing little personal reflection and contemplation?

What do my answers tell me about my leadership? Does this exercise help explain the positive, negative, or so-so results of the team and organization improvement efforts I lead? My reflections are important, but an even better source of feedback are the people on my team or those in my organization who know my leadership behavior well enough to give me some feedback. Ironically (and tragically), managers who need it most the weakest leaders are the least likely to ask for this kind of feedback.

Jim Clemmer is a bestselling author and internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management t481eam developer on leadership, change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. During the last 25 years he has delivered over two thousand customized keynote presentations, workshops, and retreats. Jim's five international bestselling books include The VIP Strategy, Firing on All Cylinders, Pathways to Performance, Growing the Distance, and The Leader's Digest. His web site is


Building Great Soulmate Relationships

Building great soulmate relationships in life takes time and commitment. If you choose to spend time and you choose to commit you WILL most certainly build a relationship that will bring you joy and contentment. Some keys to building great relationships include:

Connect with the one that you love
Make time to remind your soulmate that they are special. Write them a note, send an email, sms or phone them during the day at work. Do something that you know will be meaningful to your partner. Make sure your efforts dont go to waste; connect with them keeping their love language in mind. Be intentional about making a daily connection in the middle of your busy life.

Plan your time
The old saying fail to plan and you will plan to fail is so true when it comes to soulmate relationships. Planning your time is of utmost importance in building great soulmate relationships. The average couple is so busy with work, catching up with friends and other responsibilities that sometimes in an established relationship you can fail to plan to spend time together. Check your calendars each week and make note of time when you will be together. Be intentional about spending casual social time together and also about spending quality time building into your soulmate relationship. A regular date night is a great idea.

Be protective of your soulmate relationship
At times healthy jealousy is a must in relationships. If you are not going to protect your soulmate relationship, who will? Dont allow yourself to be in situations that compromise the integrity of your relationship with your partner. Always remember that soulmate relationships can last forever- make sure that the emotional needs of your partner are being met. Dont take each other for granted. Your relationship is important.

Dont forget the special occasions!
Use your diary or the reminder function in your mobile phone; make a note of birthdays, anniversaries and special events. Talk about important events and make sure that both partners expectations are equal. Unnecessary tension can result in a relationship due to unmet expectations. If you would like to go away for your anniversary make sure that your partner knows! They are not mind readers. It may seem to take the spontaneity and romance out of it all but in the long run your soulmate relationship will be stronger as a result of discussing such issues.

Introduce surprise to your relationship
Assuming your partner likes surprises, and you have time, there are many ways you can surprise them. Organise with their boss that they will take an extended lunch break and take them out to lunch, send flowers, a card, chocolates- the options are endless and can really add spice to your life together. Interrupt the mundane with a surprise and youll be amazed at what it does for your soulmate relationship.

Get away with your friends
If you are in a steady relationship make sure that you havent become exclusive with your partner and in the process lost all of your friends! This is a common mistake that couples make when entering into a relationship. At the start everything is new and very exciting and before you know it you have neglected the old friend that you have had since high school. Friendships are important and it is healthy to have mutual friends and for each person to have their own friends in a relationship. It brings diversity and spending time apart only makes the heart grow fonder!

Become a student of your partner
If you are in a relationship you need to become a full-time student of your partner. Make it your mission to learn everything there is to know about them. Their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, how they relate to others, how they feel most loved. When you take the focus off yourself and your needs and focus on your partner you will discover that you are in the process of building a great relationship. As you focus on your partner they will become more focused on you- it is always better to give than to receive!

Anita Rossow has a Bachelor Degree in Education and is passionate about seeing and helping people grow in all areas of their lives. See her homepage at If you would like to find out more about love languages and finding your Soulmate visit: Soulmate

Flight From Egypt

Being Able To Say No

Do you easily manage to say No to someone who wants a favour from you, while deep inside you feel you want to refuse? Or do you, like I used to do for quite some time, roll across your feeling with a bulldozer and say: Yes, of course .., because you feel uncomfortable saying No.

If you are prepared to follow the self motivation tips hereunder you will create healthier boundaries and with some self motivation exercise you will ultimately acquire the necessary self motivation skills.

I remember it took me quite some time to change from a person who wanted to please others, into a person who is consciously aware of what he feels and really stands for what he wants.

I used to waist far too much time with projects and activities that I really did not want to do. I was simply spending valuable moments of my time on other peoples good opportunities.

My mentor taught me how important it was for me to become experienced at feeling what I felt, at questioning myself if this was what I truly wanted, and at saying No if it wasnt.

Learning to live our full potential also means that we have to learn to not always say Yes to what other people want. We can only move forward with our dreams and goals if we are focused on the things that will produce them.

My mentor made me decide on what I wanted in my life and what I didnt. He convinced me to make these my personal policies. If I didnt want to let friends borrow money any longer, then I had to make it my personal policy. If I didnt want to discuss important business de5B4als over the phone anymore, then I had to make that my personal policy.

In general its not difficult to say to people what our policies are and we dont even have to say the word No. People tend to respect policies. And its likely that no one will take them personally. They simply realize its a healthy boundary you have set for all occasions.

It gets more tricky to say No , however, when what we are being offered sounds attractive. How can we determine for ourselves what is a good choice and what isnt?

I have learned to put such opportunity in writing, close my eyes and ask myself the following questions:

First of all I ask myself: Would doing this be in my highest option?, and when I feel it is, I ask myself what kind of information I need to gather and what I would need to do to make it happen.

Next I compare that information with what I know about achieving my goals. Is everything in line or is this opportunity leading me down a different path? Is it harmonizing with the purpose I am passionate about, or does it simply sound better than what I am doing at that moment?

Its good to talk to a mentor or other advisors about potential opportunities and reflect on their knowledge and expertise. They can help to become aware of whats involved and they can help to stay focused on our goals and dreams.

After a couple of years of practice I have learned to sta5A3y focused on my higher goals and I have learned to say no to good opportunities that interfere with my higher goals. I had to discover that I was not rejected for saying No. Actually I noticed that people respected me for my clarity and drive.

You know, we are in control of how we feel and how we behave and express ourselves, and so are others. That means that if other people get upset with you saying No, well, thats their choice. Isnt it?

Ab van Deemter ( is a Personal Growth specialist and a spiritual person, who believes in sharing his knowledge of personal perseverance. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods for many, many years and embarked on a life of success. With successful tools for personal freedom he has made it past a life full of obstacles and now mentors and teaches business owners, their staff, his own employees, as well as a large group of private individuals.

Keeping our vibrational energy high

Face Personal Challenges

1. Every day, try to free yourself from the desire for perfection and allow your confidence to grow. It was the Buddhist Lama Yeshe who said, Self-confidence is not a feeling of superiority, but of independence. That is an important point to remember: that you do not feel good because you are better than someone else. You feel good purely because of your own efforts and achievements. Confidence is not puffed up, arrogant, selfish or boastful. It is a quiet and unmistakable authority which motivates and inspires others. Self-confidence comes from being challenged to ones limits, meeting the challenges, having a sense of fulfilment and then setting new limits. We can only learn by admitting we dont know everything, and never will.

As another Buddhist advises, Be light, humorous, eager to learn, courageous to change and not afraid of making mistakes. Emotionally beating yourself u167Cp is not helping you or the world; it does not change the past nor does it change the future. It only makes the present miserable. Absolutely.

2. Perseverance
This quality will make a big difference to your life, so please bear it in mind. Do not not expect everything to happen at once or overnight, but it should not take too long either. Life is a journey, not a series of unconnected events. If you treat it as such, you will always be ready for the unexpected pit stop. You will accept that life will go on for you, with every day being a different one, until you dont exist anymore. The extent to which you enjoy and benefit from your life depends on the state in which you make that journey, whether you are positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist.

Having off-days in emotions, when you have to recharge to face the next day or hurdle, is absolutely fine too. Dont fall into despair just because your mood changes and you feel overwhelmed, sad or anxious at any particular time. We are not machines. The off-days are as important for recharging those emotional batteries as the good days. Its when every day is an off-day that life is truly problematic. If your self-esteem is consistently low, or youve tried confidence remedies and there is no improvement at all, it might be worth seeking professional help. It could be that you never really developed a high opinion of yourself during your childhood and you now lack a firm, positive base to build on in appreciating yourself as a valid, but flawed, extraordinary human being.

3. Take Risks
If you have a problem or worry, it means it is time for change and something needs to be done differently. If you do not change, you will keep getting the same old problem. Always approach new experiences as opportunities to learn and develop rather than occasions to merely win or lose. Doing so presents new possibilities for your abilities which can increase your sense of self-worth, while providing opportunities to release that inner talent and reserve. Its always the challenge of the new, and the act of accepting these challenges at varying levels, which increase our self-confidence. Not doing so turns every possibility into a projected failure and inhibits personal growth.

For example, as I encourage contributions and opinions from our small office of four staff, it is often like a mad inventors studio where we have many ideas for the business every week, while accepting that only few will ever work. The main outcome is that everyone has a sense of ownership and responsibility for every aspect of their work, making even the most junior worker feel significant. The beauty is to give room for those thoughts, to take the risks which seem realistic, and to wait. The right ones will always work, though perhaps not in the way we expect, or the time expected. Doing nothing simply brings us nothing.

4. Dont Be Defeated
If at first you dont succeed, try something else. Everyone fails before they succeed. Think back to when you were a baby and learning to walk. You crawled first, then you stood up in an unsteady way, constantly landing on your bum. But repeatedly doing this improved your balance and built your confidence to take those first magical steps. Then you walked and, before long, you were running. However, there would have been many false starts and landings before you were able to run. As an adult, all you need is the same belief in, and patience with, yourself; the time to grow confidently and the determination to stick at it. By the law of averages, you will succeed in the end.

I am a living example of that with the business I created. Twelve years on, it is only just beginning to respond in the way I first envisaged because I too had to develop and grow with it. It doesnt mean I never had self-doubts, never felt foolhardy or demoralised, or not wanted to pack it in especially in the face of a lack of support and too many crises. But the success is all the more enjoyable and well earned because of the long wait, personal enjoyment and persistent self-belief involved.

How HAPPY are YOU? Try our simple HAPPINESS QUIZ to test how you feel about yourself just now. Being unhappy robs you of opportunities and success. How do you REALLY feel now?

ELAINE SIHERA ( is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. Confidential advice on personal/relationship issues is available on the quiz site. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous and Ready to Fly!"

Louise Hay

Fulfilling Expectations

During a conversation with a client, I learned that his soon to be college freshman son was expected to register for only 12 hours instead of the standard 15. The universitys position was that 12 hours was the expected workload because 12 hours was very difficult even for the brightest young person. As the father was also was a former college student who experienced 15 to 18 hour semesters, he asked me what I thought? My reply would be to ask the following question to the university: If you expect my son to earn a 4 year degree in 4 years or approximately 120 hours, how can he do achieve this goal when he is only registering for 24 hours per year?

On the way back to my office, I was reminded of the self-fulfilling prophecy that Robert Merton identified in his 1957 work Social Theory and Social Structure. Merton defined this concept as when a false definition of the situation evokes a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true. In simpler terms, when an expectation is set regardless whether it is factual or not factual, we as human beings will take actions consistent with that expectation.

For my client, if he didnt challenge the expectation of the university, his son would be taking 6 years to complete a 4-year degree. Also, his son would then believe that a 40-hour workweek would be very difficult and then would take actions to support that belief.

My thoughts then turned to a scene in G. Bernard Shaws play Pygmalion when the very wise Eliza Doolittle was explaining the self-fulfilling prophecy to the Pickering, the Professors friend the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how shes treated. I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treated me as a flower girl, and always will, but I know I can be a lady to you because you always treat me as a lady, and always will.

How often do the expectations of others and even ourselves set the stage for predicting our own future failures or future successes? Expectations are simply our thoughts. Through time, these self-fulfilling thoughts turn into belief systems that are reflected in our attitudes or what some have called into habits of thought. Each day these attitudes can provide the momentum for us to reach higher and farther or can be 500 pound weights that drag us down into deep holes where darkness is every present.

Again, the answer is one of choice. You can choose to expect more of yourself and others and you can choose not to. For me, there is only one choice. What is your choice?

Leanne helps individuals and businesses to double their results or performance in real time. Please feel free to contact Leanne at 219.759.5601. If you truly don't believe doubling your results is possible, read some case studies where individuals and businesses took the risk and experienced unheard of results.

Oprah Winfrey

Avoiding Pity City

"Oh, the holiness of always being the injured party. The historically oppressed can find not only sanctity but safety in the state of victimization. When access to a 5B4better life has been denied often enough, and successfully enough, one can use the rejection as an excuse to cease all efforts." Maya Angelou, American author, Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas

A thirty-eight year old man was at his parent's home for Sunday dinner. He mournfully turned the discussion to his many problems, "I've just left my third failed marriage, I can't hold onto a job, I'm in debt up to my ears and will have to declare personal bankruptcy," he whimpered. "Where did you go wrong?"

Blaming others for our difficulties is the easy way out. That's why it's so popular. A job applicant put this statement on his resume, "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers." In How to Save Your Own Life, author Erica Jong writes, "No one to blame!... That was why most people led lives they hated, with people they hated... How wonderful to have someone to blame! How wonderful to live with one's nemesis! You may be miserable, but you feel forever in the right. You may be fragmented, but you feel absolved of all the blame for it. Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." Rolling Stone journalist, P. J. O'Rourke, adds, "One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his pic5B4ture turns up on your driver's license."

Turn on any daytime talk show and you'll find endless examples of people blaming everybody and everything for the way their lives have turned out. A little channel surfing could lead to the conclusion that we're living on the Planet of the Aches. As long as these sad souls are playing the blame game and embracing their victim role, they are stuck in that rut. It can too easily become a rut that's really a grave with the ends knocked out. Regular viewers of these misery-series soon end up feeling as helpless and hopeless as the continual parade of victims.

As key players in the whine industry, these shows reflect and help to spread the deadliest disease in society today the Victimitis Virus. The Victimitis Virus is the poor-little-me-syndrome. It's a state of hopelessness and powerlessness to do anything about my problems. It's running from personal responsibilities with excuses like "it's not my job," "I was just following orders," "I am too old to change," or "the dog ate my homework" (that's also the title of a great book on personal responsibility by Vincent Barry). It's the most contagious and destructive infection ever seen on this earth. The Victimitis Virus is usually found along with the Pessimism Plague. Both kill, mutilate, and destroy millions of lives every year. They are also the only lethal diseases that can be transmitted with no physical contact at all. The5B4y are often spread through one-on-one, group, or mass communications.

Symptoms of the Victimitis Virus include bouts of doubt and discouragement diarrhea, constant vomiting of cynicism and snide remarks, pains in the neck (or lower regions) from suspicion and distrust, hopelessness headaches, waves of nausea from pessimism and put downs, and frequent cramps from its-beyond-my-(or our) control language. This "victim-speak" often includes statements like "he/she makes me so mad I can't control myself," "that's just the way I am," "there's nothing we can do," "they won't allow that," "I have to," "I am no good at," "the system won't let us," and so on. We can all add to the list from our personal favorites.

It's very easy for entire groups to become infected with the Victimitis Virus and the Pessimism Plague. Many meetings or family gatherings then turn into "primal scream therapy" or "blame storming" sessions around why a deadline was missed, results are down, or a family member behaved so poorly. The entire group can end up moving into Pity City throwing many Pity Parties with whiny Pity Puppies scampering about barking blame in all directions.

Growing the Distance excerpt bio lines:

Excerpted from Jim's international best-seller, Growing the Distance: Timeless Principles for Personal, Career, and Family Suc3EDcess. Jim Clemmer is a bestselling author and internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management team developer on practical leadership. His extensive and resource rich web site (with over 300 free articles) is

Joan Borysenko

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Building Your Coaching Business - HIGHLY Successful Networking -- The Right Way and Wrong Way

Networking - Right way and wrong way

I've discovered some things about networking. Although it CAN be VERY successful if done right, most of the time it is done wrong and the results are nearly zero, at least not worth the time that it takes.

So, here are some hints that can take your networking through the roof. Actually, a "professional marketing" person in one of my last "Building Your Coaching Business" classes hadn't been able to make her networking work....up until we changed some things. At that point she went from one so-so interested person per networking event showing interest, and less than one client in 6 months, to 5 people jumping up and down wanting to schedule an appointment from every networking event and more business than she had ever had.

Develop Your Niche Market and Powerful, Compelling Core Marketing Message

It all starts with developing your target niche market and your powerful, compelling core marketing message. Everything starts there, so if you haven't done that yet, then get that article. Email me if you haven't already received the article on how to do that. Because, once you develop that your networking results will go up 5-10 times what they are now.

Now, the other parts are where you network, and how you network.

Where you network - How You Network

Make sure that you network with your ideal niche market, or where others that also touch that market are networking. Networking just to be networking is not going to generate much.

Network where you can make a difference. Networking is all about meeting people that are in your target market, or are in contact with your target market, and where you can make an impact on them, their life, and their business. People buy only from those that know, like, and trust (they also make referrals the same way). Therefore, the people that make the most difference to them are the ones that they will go wild helping with referrals...and that should be your focus.

Chamber networking - I've learned that chambers CAN have some of the same narrow thinking as small business, some of the same thinking that destroys small business. So, finding the right chamber, or networking group is EXTREMELY important. How do you do that?

Find chambers that want to partner with you to make a difference in their members' lives and businesses. A really great way to stand out in a chamber is to partner with the chamber to offer seminars that help people and companies.

Make sure that you are on important committees in the chamber where you can help lead new seminars, or at least work with people on a volunteer basis to help them. Give them a sample and watch them jump into your shopping cart.

Going only to "networking" events without building the relationships and visibility will become an extremely inefficient way of networking. It can work better once you've developed that powerful, compelling core marketing message...but if you start with a strategy to also build relationships through committees and partnering with the chamber you'll find some pretty spectacular results....if you are in the right chamber, or networking group that feels the same way.

Some chambers can have some pretty narrow thinking. Some will limit your reach "because they can't support one member over another." Your job is to either help them overcome this thinking and make a major impact on them and their members, or move on to another chamber where you can make a difference.

Some chambers have told me that: "We tried seminars before, and no one showed up." I've found that most of the time it was a local financial planner, or CPA, or another field, that was giving a very dry SALES pitch...and no one wants to hear that, the seminars didn't work. Whenever I've been given that answer, I usually point out that my seminars are "standing room only" and I'd be more than glad to help them achieve that. In fact, I will set down with my competitors and we'll all build a series of seminars that will FILL the chamber every time. (Don't worry about helping your competitors. You will be the one standing out...I guarantee it. It was your idea and your success. And, if you follow my suggestions, your seminars will be full and the others will still be just OK.) In fact, make sure that your success is seen by the top people in the chamber, and by the members of the chamber. You will become a star for doing this.

(NOTE: check out my articles on marketing seminars. If you are going to make these seminars successful then follow those seminar marketing approaches.)

Of course, there still are chambers that won't go that case move on. You are in the wrong place. Some chambers, even after experiencing the successful seminars will shoot themselves, and you, in the foot. I've seen chambers that, once a coach becomes pretty visible, will say something like, "We've had complaints from other coaches that you are getting too much visibility. We have to let others have the stage." And then they had it back to those that were complaining, and the seminar attendance drops to zero. Pretty soon, the chamber will be saying, "Our seminars don't work, so we aren't going to do them anymore."

Some chamber will say, "We can't back one business over another." I'm not one for backing down. I'll stand on the value I bring to the chamber, to their members, and to the growth of the chamber I've brought to them with additional members and growing businesses, but....some are narrow thinkers...move on when you can't continue to make a difference. Look at it this way, you now have a huge track record and can do this with, or without the move on. Your job is to find the best networking opportunity and not just accept what I call THE NORM in networking...reach further.

Business Network International -- Another really great place to network, and probably THE BEST is a BNI (Business Network International) group. The same things apply here. Make sure that your ideal target market is in that group, or someone who is working with your ideal target market. Be very selective about choosing which BNI club you join.

I have had discussions with hundreds of other coaches who have worked in BNI clubs. The discussion usually goes something like this.

Some will tell me BNI didn't work for them. When digging deeper I find that their target market wasn't in that club. Sometimes the club was made up of very small businesses who always perceived they couldn't afford the coach, and they also perceived that they didn't do business in the same economic level as the was a waste of time.

Find the RIGHT BNI Club-The MOST Successful Networking

However, by finding the RIGHT BNI club it can be one of the most successful marketing tactics you can do. I encourage you to take that way beyond what you find in that club however. When you finally find the RIGHT club, your job is to become the best leader in the club, to show that club how to grow even bigger, to show that club how to bring in bigger and bigger, and better and better companies. Join the leadership team. A really great opportunity is to become the educational director where you can show them ways to network better and to grow the club. Become a SUPER Coach by showing that club how to become a SUPER BNI club....guess what? People will beg to spend time with you, and you will be a star in the club. After all, anyone who can make this much difference in the club should be making that much difference with the clients....RIGHT?

Networking isn't just about networking and meeting a few others. It is about networking with the most powerful people you can meet, and then make the most significant impact on the club, their lives, and their business....and you will be seen as a SUPER Star coach.

Challenge everyone you meet to reach further than they've been reaching. Challenge the networking group to reach further and become greater, and lead them to that new vision...You will become a SUPER Star coach!!


Do you want to learn more about how to increase your coaching businesses?

I have just completed my brand new guide to coaching marketing success. You'll also get a free invitation to join a mastermind group of other coaches as they build their business. Hear what works and doesn't work.

Get your "How to Build a Super Star Coaching Business" for free

Alan Boyer coach's coaches, who want more business than they can handle, or at least more than they imagined...before this.....The reports have been "5-10 times more clients in just a few weeks, and still growing.

Oprah Winfrey

What is the Absolute Secret

I would venture to say that everyone on the planet would like to have a better 2008. As the clock ticked down to the New Year, you might have made a resolution to improve life through more money, better relationships, a new car, a successful business, or anything else that you might find important or personally rewarding.

Recently, I heard Dr Joe (Mr. Fire) Vitale say, everyone likes to make new years resolutions. That might be to lose weight, stop smoking, go to the gym. Then on the 2nd or 3rd January they forgetB68 where the gym is located.

The plans are big, but the execution of those ideas often falls short. So, if you want to have a successful and abundant life in every way imaginable, you need to take action. This is the missing ingredient from the hit movie "The Secret". Don't, for one minute, think that if you site and visualize or daydream all day that your wildest dreams will just fall out of the sky. Whilst visualization and desire are necessary, the real key is to take inspired action to achieve the results that you want.

Once you find out the absolute secret, you will not want to keep it to yourself. You will want to share it with your friends and family. You will want everyone you care about to be as happy and content as you.

You will be amazed to find out that the secret to happiness and wealth in all areas of your life is nothing you can purchase or borrow from someone else. The key to unlocking a fabulous future actually comes from within you. Once you know the six steps to manifesting a better tomorrow, you will find each day something to happily anticipate.

For example, if you wake up happily anticipating a great new day, what generally occurs? You have a wonderful day. Why? The answer is actually pretty simple. If you look for the good in every day, you usually find happiness. Think about the person you know that always seems to have a smile and be totally content with life. Happiness and satisfaction comes from within, and then the good things in life just seem to happen.

However, the opposite is also true. Do you know an individual who never seems to be happy, no matter what? Even when good things are possible, does he/she always whine and complain about everything else that is not so great, or could be better? Would he/she ever be happy? Probably not. The constantly negative attitude will also prevent the eyes from seeing the good in life, or the opportunities presented to make life better.

Although there are six steps to the absolute secret of success, one concept is undeniable. If you do not have an attitude of gratitude for the blessing already present in your life, you will not fully be able to utilize the key to manifesting a better future. You must truly believe a better tomorrow is possible and that you have what it takes to make it happen, because blessings often come in the form of an opportunity that you must recognize and utilize.

Remember it is within you. Learn how to anticipate life with joy, and manifest a fabulous future.

Paul Sutherland is an Accelerated Business Growth Coach. His company - Daniel Thomas International - helps corporate and SMEs to grow their businesses with tried tested and proven techniques and str41Bategies, increasing their bottom line profits in 90 days or less?

Pick up a FREE copy of "The 7 Big Mistakes" report when you visit the site. You can also get your FREE copy of a new short e-book "How To Accelerate Your Business and Personal Growth" from

Joan Borysenko

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Fear of Death

Fear of death is the most basic fear of life.

Fear of life is another!

We fear life because it reminds us of our death, and keeps doing so every single moment with each and every breath that we take in, in order to survive a few seconds more.

Breathing unconsciously reminds us of our death that we could have embraced, had we not taken our first breath the moment we came out of our mother's womb.

More so with inhalation than with exhalation!

Breathing is life.

But breathing is an unconscious effort as well.

This means life is an effort, although in an unconscious way.

Inside the womb, we never had to make any effort whether to breathe or to eat.

Life was all peace.

As soon as we come out, death threatens us.

Fear of death becomes the fear of life.

We borrow a few moments of life from death through breathing a little oxygen in.

Oxygen turns into carbon di oxide very fast.

Fear of death again envelops us unconsciously.

We borrow a few moments of life more from death through breathing a little more oxygen in.

Our life becomes an unconscious struggle to escape death with each and every breath of it.

We live with inhalation rather than with exhalation of breath.

We want to take more oxygen in than we throw carbon di oxide out.

So, the lungs are never empty of carbon di oxide in them.

How can we take more oxygen into them then?

Our breathing turns shallow.

The more it turns shallow, the more the unconscious fear of death envelopes us perpetually as well as perennially.

The unconscious fear of death expresses itself as the conscious fear of life.

We fear life.

In fact, the shortage of oxygen with each inhalation of ours makes us fear life.

We want to take in more and give out less.

How is it possible?

But the whole world culture has turned like that!

The basic contradiction between what we want and what the scientific reality is as far as comforts of life are concerned!

The more we want the oxygen in, the less it gets inhaled.

The fear of death keeps its clutches tight on us.

Trying to inhale more than exhale keeps our unconscious fear mounted perennially onto our skull and into our body.

This fear constantly keeps pulling our skull as well as our torso down and tucking them in.

It does not let our eyes open fully too.

That is why we are always in a state that is half-asleep or half-awake.

We never come out of this slumber in our life.

We keep dreaming in the day too.

We keep thinking - chewing the cud of the past!

We never meet life afresh.

Meeting life afresh turns our unconscious fear into a conscious one.

The conscious fear of death - not the thought of the fear, but the real fear as such - turns breathing into an effortless one; if we keep facing it in its full intensity for an unspecified duration of time.

Exhalation turns more pronounced than inhalation is, in a spontaneous way.

The skull and the torso open out as well as get stretched up permanently!

The body embraces health and the mind goes empty paving way for the brain to work with full intelligence.

Now the question is: how to turn the unconscious fear of death into a conscious one - not the thought of it but the real fear as such!

By qualification, G B Singh is an electronics engineer, passionate to change the quality of life on earth.

He has decided to train people, free of charge, in the procedure of instant vision correction through opening their third eye instantaneously.

He is also working on a techno-scientific project named Virtual Reality Machine envisaging to electronically mechanize the biological procedure of dissolving all the rigidities of body musculature so that almost all the lifestyle diseases could be gotten rid of in one single hour for good, for life; for which he needs volunteer-leaders from all over the world, and already has given a call to that effect!

Contact him through and/or to decide further program, together.


How Long does it Really Take?

I have a friend who actually knows how to work all the functions on his Ironman watch you know, the timer, the split-lap timer, the alarm, the countdown timer. I don't know if it's an obsession with him, or simply something he does to keep himself amused, but he times everything. He can tell you how long it takes his coffeepot to finish making coffee and how long a particular traffic light stays red.

Perhaps with his example in mind, I've recently started looking at how long certain tasks take especially the ones I don't really want to do. Not being as familiar with my (much less fancy) watch's functions, I take the cruder approach of simply writing down when I start something, and then noting when it's done.

It turns out, somewhat to my embarrassment, that I've been spending far more time debating with myself over whether to do these tasks than it actually takes to complete them once I get moving. For instance, my grumbling over the cat fur on the floor may last for days before I finally drag out the vacuum cleaner and spend eight minutes eight minutes! vacuuming the house. Mowing the lawn? Fifteen minutes apiece front and back, with another fifteen minutes each if I edge and weed-whack.

Suddenly, my productivity horizons have opened wide. Why am I pouring my valuable energy into procrastination and complaints, if it truly only takes a few minutes to do what I'm fussing about?

As a nation, we are working longer and longer hours and predictably enough accomplishing less and less. Work-life balance is suddenly important enough that multi-million-dollar corporations are hiring external consultants and trainers to conduct work-life studies and workshops, and featuring the results on the human-resources pages of their websites. Time management and personal productivity are long past being trendy; they've become so ingrained in corporate culture that they're cliches. And as a nation, we continue struggling with overwhelm, stress, and guilt guilt that we're not doing enough for our families or our careers, never mind how and if we're taking care of ourselves.

We all have a different tolerance for the level of overwhelm we can handle. I'm certainly not suggesting that overwhelm would vanish if we eliminated procrastination and grumbling (if that were even possible!). And I'm well aware that a certain amount of procrastination is simply part of the creative process.

I do wonder, though, how much productivity is being poured into avoidance rather than accomplishment. I know I'm certainly taking a closer look at how I'm spending my time, especially on those days when my to-do list seems to be multiplying alarmingly. And I challenge you to examine your day and ask yourself the simple question: What one thing can I do right now that will bring me closer to my goal?

Then do it! (And let me know how long it takes!)

"Action is at bottom a swinging and flailing of the arms to regain one's balance and keep afloat." Eric Hoffer, 1902 1983; American longshoreman, philosopher, and author.

(c)Grace L. Judson

About the Author
Grace Judson is the founder and driving force behind Svaha Concepts. She works with powerful women who appear successful on the outside, but struggle with feelings of discouragement and defeat on the inside.

For more articles like this, sign up for the free Svaha Concepts newsletter.

Grace offers a free weekly teleclass Stress Management for the Insanely Busy, open to all! View the list of upcoming topics, listen to previously-recorded classes, and sign up: Stress Management.

Secrets Of Living A Good Life

Personal Core Values

Each of us has our own set of values. These are what determine which aspects of life we regard as important or beneficial. Our values help determine our tastes, our way of life, our entertainment, our social, political and religious interactions. Each of us holds many values and these values are liable to change as we grow, reach different stages of life or have different experiences or influences in life. Some of the values we hold may be superficial, transitory or fitting solely the moment in which we find ourselves. Other values are more fixed and may stay with us through our life; these are our core values.

Our values come from a range of sources. Our parents are a key influence upon our values as we grow as children. So, too, is any church or religious background we experience. Our society, our neighbours, friends and colleagues, too, can have an influence upon our values. So, too, can our teachers and our schooling.

Often, school can be a place of conflict for it is there that we experience other values perhaps for the first time. Some of the values we experience in school can be in conflict with or contradict the values of our parents. As we go through high school, we start to experience values in ourselves and our peers that conflict both with school and our parents. Conflicting and unfixed values can be a major problem for adolescent and teenage years.

As we grow in years and experience, our values become more fixed, especially a set of 6 to 10 core values. It is these core values that determine what is really important to us as an individual. The surprising thing is that if you ask most people what their values are, many would not be able to give you an answer.

A good many people are leading lives unconnected with their core values. This can lead to a life of unhappiness, discontent and lack of fulfilment. Sometimes it can lead to conflict. Often the person does not know why their life seems unhappy, unfulfilled and sometimes full of conflict. Often, the cause is that the life they are living is not in accordance with their personal values.

For some people a conflict can arise within them because they are trying to live a life according to the values of a company, an organisation, a religious or political organisation, the values of their friends or colleagues or partner, rather than living a life according to their own core values. In doing this, the values of the other people or organisations are being met but the persons own values are being left unfulfilled.

This is not to say that a person is always wrong to seek to support and fulfil the values of other people or organisations. However, leaving your own values unfulfilled can lead to frustration and unhappiness. A key issue in this, though, is that the person may believe they are doing the right thing by working to the values of others and yet still feel a sense of frustration and unfulfilment; -the reason being that they may be unaware of their own values or, maybe, feel guilty of their own values where they conflict with the values of others. So, if you feel your life is unfulfilled, unhappy, or maybe has too much conflict, then it could be that you are leading a life that does not accord with your core values. The question is; do you know your own personal core values?

Hiring a personal life coach can certainly help you to discover your personal values but for those who want to start the discovery for themselves, try answering the following question;

What, in life, is important to you?

Dont think about your answers (yes, theres likely to be more than one thing thats important to you), at least dont think about them at first. Just write down whatever comes into your head, no matter how strange, amusing or worrying they may seem. These first answers are probably your gut or intuitive answers; sometimes these are closer to the truth than answers that you think about. Next, think about what is important in life for you. Take some time to consider your answers before writing them down in a word or short phrase. Dont worry if the some of the same answers appear in your first list; - just write them down again.

Now you have two lists. Take a look at them; is there anything there that surprises you or anything that worries you? Sometimes people can be quite surprised by what they write down and occasionally they may write down something that shocks them or they feel guilty about.

Quite common words that people put on their list of values include ; money, success, family, wife/husband/partner, growth, power. If you find one, or more, of these words on your list, ask yourself another question;

What does (the word) mean for me?

So you may ask, what does money mean for me. To which the answer could be; money means security, or money means success, or money means freedom, or money means being able to provide for my family.

By answering the second question you can help uncover the real or underlying value for you. So for you, money is not the real value, it is security or being successful or being independent or being able to provide for my family that is the real value.

So, by doing these simple exercises, you are beginning to discover your personal core values. The next exercise is to ask your self how do my life, my work and my relationships help fulfil my personal values? If you find that they do not help you fulfil your personal values then perhaps you should consider changing your life. To do that; get a life coach.

Douglas Woods is a qualified life coach who works with individuals and couples seeking to improve their life or relationships. You can read more about his work at

Thomas Edison

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The High Voltage Child

Imagine this: you're a kid again.

Pick an age, somewhere between 2 and 18.
Sound fun? But, for the sake of experiment, let's say you're a real handful,
a high voltage kid. You're a rascal on good days, a hellion on most days.

Mom would never call you a brat, but strangers do.
So embarrassing.

You argue, provoke, resist. You'll do whatever it takes to get a 'charge' out of people. Sometimes it's interesting. Often, it ends with tears.
But hey, you're just a kid - you're not really sure why you act like you do. Just gotta, gotta, gotta get your way.

You pitch public fits when you feel thwarted. You cause chaos at home.
Not a day goes by without catastrophe.
And nobody seems to understand - they just get madder and louder. And that makes you feel crazier inside.

You say things at home are getting pretty wild?

Your family is like a runaway train, and they seem to think it's because you're on board.
Kinda wish someone would pull the brakes?

Sounds like its time for some help from parent coach Tina Feigal. She seems to understand you, the challenging child. She has a whole different take on what makes you tick, click, and totally ride off the rails. Tina says you are passionate and intense. How true is that? And it sure sounds better than "brat.'

In her new book, The Pocket Parent Coach, Tina offers a Two-Week Guide to a Dramatically Improved Life With Your Intense Child. Tina wrote this book for the big people you know. Her book introduces them to the Present Moment Parenting, a set of tools she offers as a parent coach on radio, TV and to parents around the world.

She says you're a bright, intense kid who is always looking for an energy match: your passionate intensity wants a passionate, intense response from the world.
You're a heat-seeking creature, and wherever you sense heat - that's where you're going. Often the heat comes from "bad" behavior, and in a funny way, all that upset you cause just sets you up to do more.

She says if you stir up adults' anger and get us to freak out, well, then, you've done your job.

Matter of fact, Tina says you're a scientist, and your behavior is your way of 'doing research.'

Someone gets it.
Someone who has done her research too, and come up with a plan to move you along - to enjoy who YOU are and help you have an exciting and more harmonious time with your friends, family and people in your life...
Here are Tina Feigal's: 5 Key Approaches to Understanding You.

1. It's the brain, child.
Tina explains the unique neurochemistry behind the behavior of kids with intense brains. And she explains why typical discipline techniques won't work with kids like you. Because you're wired for intensity, your hardware, software and shareware all operate in special ways - pulling energy directly from the strongest satellite of all - your heart.
2. There's no time BUT the present.
With her Present Moment Parenting, Tina shows your folks how to adjust to a more positive method when you listen to each other and interact. She believes in the power of carefully chosen words - delivered on the spot. She offers a tried-and-true 3-part phrase that shifts your whole way of being together.
3. Love Potion: Communication.
Now, home is a-buzz with a program and a credit system for keeping things headed in a loving direction. Everybody's making progress - and the scientist in you is discovering a whole new way of thinking and feeling about yourself, your family, your school and the world around you.
4. Justice we reap, we sow.
Tina helps your parents locate their inner compass when it comes to setting limits and providing compassionate consequences. Funny how this experiment works: the clearer the rules are, the more cooperative you feel.
5. Take The Tina Turnaround.
Tina's book offers personal entry to a more loving family life for Mom's, Dad's and all the people who love and care for intense children.

Tina Feigal's The Pocket Parent Coach is loaded with day-by-day coaching tips, handy notes, reminder slips and progress charts plus an audio CD to take listeners along on one parent's journey through the Present Moment Parenting. Her book is for parents for children of all ages, and those with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Tourettes or Asperger's Syndrome, giftedness, or no diagnosis at all.

Visit Tina's web site at

When it comes to placing healing in the hands of parents to help them turn kids around, Tina Feigal is gifted. When it comes to helping your whole family feel better together, she's passionate - just like you.

Jerry And Esther Hicks

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Time Machines and the Nineteenth Century

Mechano-Neural Therapy experienced great popularity in the late 1900's and early 20th century. Dr Ella Kilgus originated the therapy at that time, but the actual practice can be traced to early greek civilization.

I learned to do the technique when I was 6 years of age. I've been doing it ever since on my family, my dogs, the nurses at work, and one time on myself as I braced myself against a wall to penetrate the pressure points along the spine.

Only a few of us know how to do it: my sister, my family doctor's daughter, her sister, her son. I taught my husband and a nurse at work how to do it, and they are whiz kid's with their own style and flair for healing.

I am doing research on Mechano, as we call it, so that I can disseminate this information by way of a book I intend to write.

My Homeopathic family doctor's daughter and I just began exchanging this massage every Wednesday at eleven in the morning.

I go to her house because it is conveniently located in the heart of our hometown, across from a nineteenth century church, with a mammoth bell which rings the time on the hour.

Her home was built in the mid 1800's. My friend is caring for the house which has been inhabited by four generations of her family, up to this point in time.

Nineteenth Century antiques furnish this mansion, every room of it, not because it's decorated that way, but because this is the way it's always been.

The smells take me back to my earliest memory. I was raised in that house as well as my family residence, which is located one mile across town.

After the treatment exchange, I left the house, rejuvenated, feeling alive and energized. Ideas were swirling around my head about the Mechano book, the title of which has yet to be determined.

I recently joined Pat O'Bryan's Portable Empire University where we learn the details of internet marketing by accessing hours and hours of valuable "How To" video and audio presentations.

Pat O'Bryan has a well run forum where he regularly participates. This makes us all feel connected to him, the guru who is talented at making us all feel special.

Pat's new book entitled: "Your Portable Empire: How To Make Money Anywhere While Doing What You Love" will be released 9/4/07. He got the idea that he wanted to have a book signing at the social networking site called "Second Life."

He purchased and decorated The Portable Empire Island and set it up for select members to come and chat with him and everyone else who shows up as we all await the unveiling of his book, his creation, his baby!

In order to go to The Portable Empire Island, I had to create what is called a walking, talking avatar, complete with an outfit, hair style and color, facial and body structure of my choice, any and all of which I can change at any time.

Her name is Mooie Infinity.

She feels like my alter ego.

I worry about her as I go about my first life.

I voiced these concerns to Pat's avatar, Koanwrangler Ibanez, who generously offered his roof to Mooie, situated by a lovely fountain with lavender colored water complete with the sound effect of rippling water, when the Portable Empire Island isn't in full swing.

My dogs absolutely love the soothing sound.

In the time-line of one day, I went from the 19th century to the future, which is now.

I went from a musty smelling 19th century room overlooking the oldest inland street in America, to a virtual reality ocean front property at Second Life, with others who desire to socialize, network about their businesses, and offer our support to one another.

It's quite the mind trip.

Space travel.

Time machines.

Learning centers.

The greatest alternative to bar room socializing I've ever seen.

We do live in interesting times.

Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and the creator of the e-book called "Transform Your Nursing Career and Discover Your Calling and Destiny." Click here to find out how to order the e-book: Check Out Kate's Blog:

Henry David Thoreau

10 Cute Love Quotes that Make You Smile

Is your heart bursting forth with love? Want to shout out to the whole world about how sweet your love is? Cute love quotes will help you to express loving thoughts about love, and as well as make you laugh with hilarity.

Whether you've just fallen head over heels in love, at the beginning stage of your relationship, or you just want to bask in the joy of your love, let these cute love quotes reflect your romantic and humorous side.

Let these humorous quotes about love give you something funny to smile about. Share these quotes with your family and friends so that they have something to smile about too.

There's many ways to bring joy and fun to your love relationship. Sending a bouquet of roses with a loving message when your lover is feeling down is romantic. Sending a love poem or writing one yourself is a hugely romantic gesture. Writing a wonderful love letter works also. Using a thesaurus and picking out descriptive words to describe the best sides of your sweetheart work amazingly well too.

Another method is to use cute love quotes in your Valentine's Day cards, emails and messages to bring a certain playful tone into your relationship. Make your girlfriend or boyfriend feel loved and cherished.

Add a dash of romance with these quotes and simply let the warmth of cute love quotes envelope you.

List of 10 Best Cute Love Quotes

1) "Other men have seen angels, But I have seen thee, And thou art enough." - G. Moore

2)"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." - Regina 'Age 10'

3) "I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox." - Woody Allen

4) "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." - Ingrid Bergman

5) "I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up." - Barbara Bush

6) "Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein

7) "We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack." - Marie E. Eschenbach

8) "Women are made to be loved, not understood." - Oscar Wilde

9) "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." - Plato

10) "Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renord

Fion Lim is the creator of She loves inspirational quotes, short stories and poems and enjoy sharing her collection with women to keep them inspired.

Self Help And Spirtual Guide

Monday, June 9, 2008

Learn From Your Little Leaguers

This week has been interesting. I usually have many different things to do. Between my office, home, my wife and kids I usually am very busy. Even with all that happening, I make sure that I spend time reviewing audio files on my MP3 player. I feel it is important to always learn something new, or at the very least reinforce what I already know. It is a great source of self motivation. The more I hear about my different businesses the more motivated I become implementing ideas that will continue my law of success. This week, however was a bit different...

A full week of baseball to be precise.. I am not talking about Major League Baseball. I am talking about Little League. From my office I found myself going to the baseball fields. My 11 year old son's team played in a tournament this week. I am one of the assistant coaches. We actually did very well, losing 4-2 in the semi-final game. There were 12 teams in the tournament from various towns. So, to finish 3rd overall was a good showing. It was a valuable experience for the boys, since the fall league is used as an instructional league. Kids get to play in positions they may not have played before. To have the chance to perform under the pressure of a tournament gives them a chance to see how they have learned their lessons over the last two months.

Of course, I try to learn from the experience as well. The games, especially the last one, opened my eyes to basics concept for law of success. You see, during our last game we had a number of opportunities to score runs; a chance to put more pressure on the opponent. However, due to a few forgotten fundamentals, and more importantly a few incidents in which players didn't listen to their base coaches, we ran ourselves out of a few scoring chances. These lost opportunities cost us the game.

Think about your approach to business. Do you follow the rules, listen to those who have more knowledge than you, and give an honest, consistent effort? Do you put yourself in the best position to be law of successful?

Learn from the little leaguers...Listen to your coaches and mentors. Don't try to re-invent the wheel. Follow the rules and enjoy the law of success it will bring.

Dr. Alfred Santoro is a professional internet marketer. "Do You Want To Learn More About A System That Will Generate Profits For Your MLM business, Even If No One Joins Your Business? And What IF That Same System Paid For Your Advertising To Generate Endless Red-Hot Targeted Leads?"


Soul Mates - Finding True Love and Commitment

Finding your true Soul Mate is something that many people hope to do. We all long for that one special person in our lives to make everything wonderful. We want to live the fairy-tale life and find our very own Prince or Princess Charming. We know that somehow that would make our lives complete.

Finding that one true love, someone that we want to be with for a lifetime, can be a difficult task. We seem to find more frogs than princes while on that eternal quest for true love. Perhaps there are a few things that we have either overlooked, over-glamorized, or misunderstood.

Think for a minute. What qualities do you think that the love of your life, that perfect Soul Mate, would possess? Would they love you unconditionally, put you on a pedestal, take away all of your tears, make you happy, make you feel secure, and bring you fulfillment? Ah yes, that would be sweet, and very nice, indeed.

But let me ask you, what qualities would that Soul Mate you seek find in you at this very moment? Have you done an honest critique lately of your strong points and your weak points? Perhaps you should, because there is a Universal Law that says "Like Attracts Like".

Oh my, you mean that I have to be operating at my highest and best level in order to draw to me the perfect lover and companion? You mean I have to think about what qualities I have to offer another person as well?

Oh yes, that is the key.

Now, I know that many of you have some very beautiful qualities, and are kind and loving and caring and giving, and still that all important person is missing from your life. And I know that life doesn't always seem to be fair. So you ask, What can I do to change my situation?

Here is a list of things you can do:

  • Make a list of qualities that you desire in a mate.
  • Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 about those qualities. Be honest. Begin everyday to cultivate and expand those qualities in your own life. Remember, "Like Attracts Like." Maybe that will require changes in attitude, expectations, or limited thinking.
  • Forgive yourself and anyone else who has ever hurt you or let you down. Make a list of people or situations that keep you from loving to your fullest. Say a prayer and ask to be assisted in letting the hurt go. Forgiveness plays a huge role in allowing love into your life.
  • Surround yourself with beautiful things. That doesn't mean that you have to spend a lot of money to do this. Pick some pretty flowers and put them in a lovely vase. Use your favorite colors in your surroundings. Take a chance and paint a wall in your favorite color, or add some lovely pillows in a silky or a velvety fabric. Make your environment one that you love to be in, one that uplifts you, one that heals your heart.
  • Create. If you love to paint, then paint! If you enjoy creating things with clay or designing things or sewing, or gardening, then by all means do it. If you are a musician and love to play music, then allow yourself the time to do that. Even if you just love to listen to or dance to certain types of music, then you must find space within your schedule to do the things that you love. If you have a hobby that you are passionate about like golfing, surfing, hiking, etc. you must, must, must allow yourself time to pursue it.
  • Give yourself beautiful experiences. Find some time each day to spend in Nature. Sit under a tree and breathe in some fresh air. Go to your favorite park, or to a hilltop overlooking the ocean or a lake, looking for the beauty in nature. Watch an uplifting movie, listen to positive music, read a self help book, listen to motivational tapes, say prayers, meditate, do something nice for someone else.
You see, these kinds of activities heal the heart. If you have a wounded heart it is difficult to draw that perfect Soul Mate into your life. Universal Law states that "Like Attracts Like". Perhaps you've noticed that you've only drawn other wounded people into your life. Since they were looking to get their needs met through you, and you were looking to get your needs met through them, then nobody got what they needed because each partner had some emptiness inside. Who wants to be with someone who is needy?

The answer is to begin to find ways to fill up that emptiness in your own life. By healing your heart and filling your life with beauty, joy, nature, music, and all of the things that you love, you become whole again. And you no longer need to have a partner in your life just to "complete you". Relationships that begin like that usually lead to eventual resentment.

As you become whole again, people will begin to be drawn into your life in greater numbers. You are no longer needy. You are now overflowing with loving energy, and you become very magnetic. Magnetic people draw other people to them naturally.

While you are out in the world filling yourself up with the things that you love, you will begin to meet new people that are also living their lives to the fullest, and who aren't looking for someone else to give them what they need.

While you are pursuing your favorite hobbies and activities and loving life and living it to its fullest your chances increase of finding your Soul Mate.

So it really comes down to you. You really do have the power to create real love in your life, and in so doing shift your personal energy field from a state of being needy to a state of being magnetic.

It's only by loving yourself, and by living your life to the fullest that you will find true happiness, and perhaps true love.

With a strong background in Alternative Healing methods since 1987, Sherry brings all of those tools to the table and integrates them into her powerful Hypnosis therapy work.

Her background includes Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy, EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique ), Reiki, Pranic Healing, Intuitive Coaching and Counseling, Aura Interpretation and Balancing, and Guided Imagery Work.

She has worked with thousands of people to bring balance and healing to their lives through one-on-one sessions, group presentations, workshops, distance healing and telephone consultations. She has written numerous articles and has appeared on television boardand radio, as well as participating in countless Health Expos and Self-Help Events.

Her uplifting and empowering presentation style is light-hearted and joyful, and makes transforming your life easy and fun.

For more from Sherry Sims visit

Jesus Christ

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Mindfulness and Humor: Celebrating Belly Laugh Day

My friend Elaine Helle in Oregon thought it would be fun to give the whole world something to laugh about.

As a laughter yoga teacher--her personal tagline is "Laugh for the health of it!"--she knows the power of a good belly laugh. And so, she started Belly Laugh Day, which will be celebrated around the world on January 24th at 1:24 pm local time.

On this day, people everywhere will pause in the middle of a busy day to smile, throw their hands up into the air and laugh out loud.

This isn't just one of those holidays that somebody made up and nobody honors. This one actually has coordinated silliness scheduled in places all over the globe. People will gather--or stop where they are at work or school or home--and laugh hard and long at the appointed time. Laughers will send in stories, photos and videos of their Belly Laugh experience to share with others on Elaine's website.

I've always said that if you're not laughing, you're not learning. Can you get through an entire day without laughing? You shouldn't. You see, there's power--and wisdom--in lightening up. If hours go by without a guffaw or at least a giggle, you're not allowing yourself to see the silliness all around you.

Oh, I know there are days when it doesn't seem possible to laugh. After all, terrible things do happen. But on 99 percent of your days, you've got a dozen reasons to laugh.

And the other 1 percent? Trust me on this: those are the days during which you are MOST in need of laughter!

I've laughed at the bedside of someone who is dying. I've howled while holding hands with someone who has tried (unlaw of successfully) to kill himself. I've giggled even when I felt I couldn't take another day of life in this world.

Thank goodness.

You see, that's the tipping point. When you can laugh while smack in the middle of a crappy day-- or a real tragedy--you know you're going to be okay. You've tapped into the secret of the Belly Laugh.

Elaine knows the secret, and she's not whispering it. Instead, she's shouting it from the virtual rooftops, engaging gigglers from the North Pole to Antarctica.

Let Belly Laugh Day on January 24th remind you of the value of seeing the silliness all around you. Open your eyes and find something to smile about every HOUR.

What, you can't spare five seconds every waking hour? Then you SERIOUSLY need to lighten up-- or, as I like to say, get En*Lightened.

Yes, laugh out loud on Belly Laugh Day, but don't stop there. Make it your personal mission to have a laugh every hour.

You'll be happier, healthier, and a whole lot more fun to be around.

Maya Talisman Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she offers playful, eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To read her free tips and tricks for practical awareness, visit

More Than Just Garbage Here


Larry: Why didnt they tell us?

Bob: Because they themselves didnt know. They knew even less than we knew, if you can imagine such a thing. They really believed there was god, motherhood, the flag and apple pie.

Larry: You mean you knew all along? I didnt! I feel like such a jerk at age fifty-one, but I was fixed on those lies just like everyone else. I didnt want to know anything about the truth. More accurately, I didnt want to know that there really wasnt any truth. It would have been too scary to have nothing to believe in. I guess I wanted security rather than reality. I think I still do but somehow those truths have become so eroded that I cant fake a belief in them any longer no matter how hard I try.

Bob: I know just what youre talking about. The only thing is that now we have nothing left, nothing to replace the old truths. You know - the ones our parents and their parents passed down to us. We had nothing to do with their creation and content. They were blatant constructs of a contrived reality that we didnt partake in. But, they did seem to be an absolutely accurate presentation of our reality. So, of course, we believed in them. It was certainly easier that way. It felt safer. It felt secure.

Larry: But why did we believe in them so easily?

Bob: The beliefs are very seductive, who wouldnt want to believe them? We begin with this character called Mommy, who is just perfect, loving and unconditionally accepting of everything we do. Who would say no to that?

Larry: WOW! Youre right.

Bob: Then we begin to believe in Santa Claus who is totally generous and loving. Notice a theme developing?

Larry: Yes, its all about being loved and accepted and not having to meet anyones expectations. Its all about remaining like a child forever. It has nothing to do with growing up. Its about clinging to childish dependency never having to relinquish the warm cozy world of the child for the harsh world of the adult.

Bob: Exactly! Who would want even a glimpse of reality if it wasnt necessary? It is very unpleasant, and scary. Santa and Mommy are a pretty dynamic duo. Theyre even better than Batman and Robin. So, here you are now suggesting that this is all a crock, which it is. Oh, god, I shudder when I say that. And, then you further suggest that you and I have to create a reality, our own reality that will replace the old one - the one that was constructed for us. Is that what youre saying?

Larry: Yet, it is.

Bob: Well, all you have to do is make something up construct a new reality of your own. But, there is one problemyou will consciously be aware that it is your construction and thus you will know from the outset that you concocted it and that it isnt real. You will probably never be able to believe it since you made it upall by yourself.

Larry: Jeez, we are screwed. We are trapped right in the middle of a constructed reality, trapped right in the middle of a scary constructed truth we had nothing to do with creating. Oh, this sucks! (Larry writhes in agony on the floor.).

Bob: Yet isnt that where you always thought you wanted to be? Right in the middle of the truth and nothing but the truth?

Larry: Yes, or so I thought. But screw that now. Jeez, were really stuck in the middle of nothing. Theres nothing here. No mental games to play. No Great Books that contain the wisdom of the ages.

I always thought it was all a crock. I always knew that Aristotle contradicted the writings of his mentor, Plato. And, Aquinas contradicted Augustine, and Marx contradicted Hegel. And it went on and on and on. But, we were younger and I thought that someday there would be an answer come forth for us.

Bob: Why didnt you stop believing then?

Larry: Because it was too scary to stop. But, you Bob, you Bastard, you sound as though you knew all about this reality stuff and for a very long time. Were best friends. Why didnt you let me in on it?

Bob: Because I wasnt so convinced. I didnt want to know the certainty either. Deep down inside myself I always knew it would be impossible to continue to live with this knowing.

Larry: So are we really screwed? What the hell are we supposed to do now?

Bob: About what?

Larry: About living the rest of our lives.

Bob: What can we do? We have to just go on living and filling in the blanks. We have to kill time.

Larry: How? What do we fill the blanks with?

Bob: With whatever comes along at the moment, just as we did before. The difference is that now we will be aware that anything we use to fill in the blanks will be a fabrication, our fabrication never to be taken seriously. There will be times when we will want to take things seriously and well be seduced into believing again. Even though we know that its our construction, our concoction created a minute earlier. It will be tempting as hell but we cant deceive ourselves any longer.

Larry: Why cant we begin to believe again?

Bob: It might feel good to believe again but it will merely become the new truth for us to begin to doubt and question. Then well begin our circular - endless game of questioningnever getting the right answer even on our death bed. Is that what you want?

Larry: No, god, is this a weird place to be or what? Never again questioning anything. Knowing nothing and knowing that its all a crock. And, I always thought it would be so freeing.

Bob: Its not?

Larry: No, and you know its not.

Bob: A little bit of sugar makes the medicine do down

Larry: How true that is. I never realized it before. And I have always especially loved sugar. Wonder if that means anything? Do you think it means anything?

Bob: Yes it means that you saw Mary Poppins. Did you like it?

Larry: No, I didnt enjoy it. I hate make-believe bull

Bob: See, ever since Ive known you, you never really allowed yourself to enjoy anything. Something eventually and rather quickly, lets you down. Its more like plunge! crash! You become enthused about something and youre very hopeful. Then, just as you are about to get comfortable you crash into conflict. (Long pause) Actually, you should be the one person I know who ought to be comfortable in a world of total uncertainty. (Another long Pause)but youre not.

Larry: Thats because I want certainty more than anyone I know. (Long pause). I think it has to do with my father dying when I was five.

James A. Gibson, Ph.D. 2004 All Rights Reserved Email:

Bio: James Aloysius Gibson, Ph.D., East Patchogue, NY, co-authored "Eat or Be Eaten: The Truth About Our Species, The Marriage of Darwin and Machiavelli" available via He presented over one hundred stimulating and thought provoking workshops on human behavior. Jim attended Columbia University, NYC, for his graduate work. He taught Human Behavior and the Social Environment for over twenty years on the graduate level at the School of Social Work, State University of New York at Stony Brook and simultaneously maintained a full-time private practice of psychotherapy and supervision boardin East Patchogue, NY. Jim appeared on local television boardwhere he shared his philosophy of human behavior. He and Pat Brozinsky have been in collaboration since 1990. His url:

Uncertainty By James A. Gibson, Ph.D.

Keeping our vibrational energy high