Uncertainty

Larry: Why didnt they tell us?

Bob: Because they themselves didnt know. They knew even less than we knew, if you can imagine such a thing. They really believed there was god, motherhood, the flag and apple pie.

Larry: You mean you knew all along? I didnt! I feel like such a jerk at age fifty-one, but I was fixed on those lies just like everyone else. I didnt want to know anything about the truth. More accurately, I didnt want to know that there really wasnt any truth. It would have been too scary to have nothing to believe in. I guess I wanted security rather than reality. I think I still do but somehow those truths have become so eroded that I cant fake a belief in them any longer no matter how hard I try.

Bob: I know just what youre talking about. The only thing is that now we have nothing left, nothing to replace the old truths. You know - the ones our parents and their parents passed down to us. We had nothing to do with their creation and content. They were blatant constructs of a contrived reality that we didnt partake in. But, they did seem to be an absolutely accurate presentation of our reality. So, of course, we believed in them. It was certainly easier that way. It felt safer. It felt secure.

Larry: But why did we believe in them so easily?

Bob: The beliefs are very seductive, who wouldnt want to believe them? We begin with this character called Mommy, who is just perfect, loving and unconditionally accepting of everything we do. Who would say no to that?

Larry: WOW! Youre right.

Bob: Then we begin to believe in Santa Claus who is totally generous and loving. Notice a theme developing?

Larry: Yes, its all about being loved and accepted and not having to meet anyones expectations. Its all about remaining like a child forever. It has nothing to do with growing up. Its about clinging to childish dependency never having to relinquish the warm cozy world of the child for the harsh world of the adult.

Bob: Exactly! Who would want even a glimpse of reality if it wasnt necessary? It is very unpleasant, and scary. Santa and Mommy are a pretty dynamic duo. Theyre even better than Batman and Robin. So, here you are now suggesting that this is all a crock, which it is. Oh, god, I shudder when I say that. And, then you further suggest that you and I have to create a reality, our own reality that will replace the old one - the one that was constructed for us. Is that what youre saying?

Larry: Yet, it is.

Bob: Well, all you have to do is make something up construct a new reality of your own. But, there is one problemyou will consciously be aware that it is your construction and thus you will know from the outset that you concocted it and that it isnt real. You will probably never be able to believe it since you made it upall by yourself.

Larry: Jeez, we are screwed. We are trapped right in the middle of a constructed reality, trapped right in the middle of a scary constructed truth we had nothing to do with creating. Oh, this sucks! (Larry writhes in agony on the floor.).

Bob: Yet isnt that where you always thought you wanted to be? Right in the middle of the truth and nothing but the truth?

Larry: Yes, or so I thought. But screw that now. Jeez, were really stuck in the middle of nothing. Theres nothing here. No mental games to play. No Great Books that contain the wisdom of the ages.

I always thought it was all a crock. I always knew that Aristotle contradicted the writings of his mentor, Plato. And, Aquinas contradicted Augustine, and Marx contradicted Hegel. And it went on and on and on. But, we were younger and I thought that someday there would be an answer come forth for us.

Bob: Why didnt you stop believing then?

Larry: Because it was too scary to stop. But, you Bob, you Bastard, you sound as though you knew all about this reality stuff and for a very long time. Were best friends. Why didnt you let me in on it?

Bob: Because I wasnt so convinced. I didnt want to know the certainty either. Deep down inside myself I always knew it would be impossible to continue to live with this knowing.

Larry: So are we really screwed? What the hell are we supposed to do now?

Bob: About what?

Larry: About living the rest of our lives.

Bob: What can we do? We have to just go on living and filling in the blanks. We have to kill time.

Larry: How? What do we fill the blanks with?

Bob: With whatever comes along at the moment, just as we did before. The difference is that now we will be aware that anything we use to fill in the blanks will be a fabrication, our fabrication never to be taken seriously. There will be times when we will want to take things seriously and well be seduced into believing again. Even though we know that its our construction, our concoction created a minute earlier. It will be tempting as hell but we cant deceive ourselves any longer.

Larry: Why cant we begin to believe again?

Bob: It might feel good to believe again but it will merely become the new truth for us to begin to doubt and question. Then well begin our circular - endless game of questioningnever getting the right answer even on our death bed. Is that what you want?

Larry: No, god, is this a weird place to be or what? Never again questioning anything. Knowing nothing and knowing that its all a crock. And, I always thought it would be so freeing.

Bob: Its not?

Larry: No, and you know its not.

Bob: A little bit of sugar makes the medicine do down

Larry: How true that is. I never realized it before. And I have always especially loved sugar. Wonder if that means anything? Do you think it means anything?

Bob: Yes it means that you saw Mary Poppins. Did you like it?

Larry: No, I didnt enjoy it. I hate make-believe bull

Bob: See, ever since Ive known you, you never really allowed yourself to enjoy anything. Something eventually and rather quickly, lets you down. Its more like plunge! crash! You become enthused about something and youre very hopeful. Then, just as you are about to get comfortable you crash into conflict. (Long pause) Actually, you should be the one person I know who ought to be comfortable in a world of total uncertainty. (Another long Pause)but youre not.

Larry: Thats because I want certainty more than anyone I know. (Long pause). I think it has to do with my father dying when I was five.

James A. Gibson, Ph.D. 2004 All Rights Reserved Email: modernjester@optonline.net

Bio: James Aloysius Gibson, Ph.D., East Patchogue, NY, co-authored "Eat or Be Eaten: The Truth About Our Species, The Marriage of Darwin and Machiavelli" available via amazon.com. He presented over one hundred stimulating and thought provoking workshops on human behavior. Jim attended Columbia University, NYC, for his graduate work. He taught Human Behavior and the Social Environment for over twenty years on the graduate level at the School of Social Work, State University of New York at Stony Brook and simultaneously maintained a full-time private practice of psychotherapy and supervision boardin East Patchogue, NY. Jim appeared on local television boardwhere he shared his philosophy of human behavior. He and Pat Brozinsky have been in collaboration since 1990. His url: http://www.wild-wisdom.com/

Uncertainty By James A. Gibson, Ph.D.

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