Learning From Your Fear

Nobody likes to feel fearful and because of that, most people will habitually react to fear by avoiding, repressing or suppressing it. It takes courage and wisdom to see that our fear can be our greatest teacher.

When we examine our fear, we will often discover that it is irrational. There is no real basis or substance to our fear. That is why fear is often described as "False Evidence Appearing Real". Fear is a self created illusion built upon past experiences or imprints. The situation may have changed but the imprints compel us to react in a knee jerk manner without proper examination and re-evaluation of the new situation.

The good news is that this habit or tendency CAN be transformed.

The Fear of Rejection

One of the most common fears is the fear of rejection. This fear comes in many forms.

For example, a person with this fear often feels it a challenge to talk to authority figures, whether these be their parents, teachers, superiors or even government bodies. They are especially fearful t59Co ask for or request things from these people. The feeling of fear of rejection is an automatic response that arises from past experience of rejections from these same authority figures.

Another manifestation of this fear of rejection is in the inability to say "no" to other people's requests. This is the other end of the spectrum and arises because of the fear of being rejected by the person who made the request.

Confront Your Fear

The best way to overcome your fear is to confront it. However, there are two opposing ways to confrontation. You can confront your fear with great compassion and gentleness, or you can confront it combatively. The more skilful and effective way is naturally to confront it compassionately.

When you confront your fear compassionately, you'll soon discover the underlying false belief that gives rise to that fear. You'll learn that the external situation is merely a mirror reflection of your inner mental state. That false belief gives rise to a correspondingly false perception of reality, thus the irrationality of the fear.

Confronting your fear compassionately means to see it without any judgment and blame. It means to take responsibility for your emotion and even to embrace it with love. When you can do this, you'll be grateful for your fear because you know it is there only as a teacher. It is there to help you see your real self.

So the next 580time you experience fear, pause for a moment and examine it with love and compassion. Allow this teacher to show you the lesson you need to learn.

As they said, "Do the things you fear and the death of fear is certain."

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor with a keen interest in self improvement, mind science and spirituality. He is the author of "From Fear to Love: A Spiritual Journey" and "The Book of Personal Transformation". Visit his websites at http://www.fromfeartolove.com and http://www.bookoftransformation.com

Building With People Tip

From my earliest days in Sunday school, I have remembered the words that a wise man builds his house upon the rock and the foolish man builds upon the sand. For 50 years, I thought this probably sound advice for someone about to build a house. It never dawned on me that it might have some other application until I heard the following quote from Peter Drucker. The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths in ways that make weaknesses irrelevant.

That statement unlocked doors in my mind and with it came the realization that success really does come from building on strengths. All too often we focus on problems (weaknesses = sand) and struggle to overcome them when in fact, we would be much better off focusing on what is working (strengths = rock) and building on them.

Over the course of my career, I have had a variety of bosses. Most tried to fix me. I did have one boss who stood up before the whole sales organization and told them he had complete faith in me. I didnt realize it at the time, but my boss motivated me in a way that I would have walked through fire for him.

In fact, I didnt really understand what he had done and how it affected me until I became soccer coach and tried a positive approach to leadership. By praising the desired actions of players, I was encouraging the other players to perform in a similar fashion. You get what you praise and reward (a lesson some organizations including our government should learn). In reality, I was building on strengths (the rock) just as my boss had done.

What about your organization? Are you still playing in the sand or are you building on rock?

 Copyright Bob Cannon/The Cannon Advantage, 2007. All rights reserved.

Byline Bob Cannon helps visionary leaders enhance performance and profitability in their organizations. Check out other interesting articles available in the Taking Aim newsletter available at http://www.cannonadvantage.com . Bob can be reached at (216) 408-9495 or mailto: aim@cannonadvantage.com

This article courtesy of http://www.decision-makingtoday.com . You may freely reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter provided this courtesy notice and the author name and URL remain intact.

Building Self Confidence and Self Esteem

As a hypnotherapist I specialise in helping people to develop confidence and self esteem.

Perhaps surprisingly, the people who ask for my help are not shrinking violets and their reasons for wanting to develop enhanced self confidence are not wholly selfish. Consider a few examples. The names have been changed.

John works for a large corporate. Diligent, startlingly intelligent and very ambitious, he found that his ideas were consistently overlooked. This wasnt enough of a catalyst to bring him to my door, however. He eventually grew frustrated, and then angry, that dominant individuals in his company were able to put their own ideas forward with ease. Worst of all, some of these ideas, he felt, were positively damaging, but he just couldnt make his opposition count. All his intelligence counted for little in his testosterone-fuelled working environment. It had reached the point where he felt that he should resign and start again with a fresh company; he simply didnt feel that he was adding any real value. A man of great integrity, John would rather leave than tacitly support such a wrong-headed and unintelligent approach to business.

John stayed. We worked together to identify his confidence profile, which was very unusual -- represented by less than 1% of the population. Through work on his stage presence and physical presence, we were able to significantly improve Johns effectiveness in being taken seriously, to the extent where he has recently broken through into senior management.

Jenny came to me because she was lonely. A brief marriage hadnt worked out, and she was finding serial dating to be a frustrating activity. Jenny had come to realise that she wasnt moving out of her comfort zone, either socially or at work. She feared becoming enclosed, locked into a safe routine which wouldnt threaten her, but wouldnt take her life forward either.

Jennys confidence profile was almost the inverse of Johns. Where he had masses of peer independence, Jenny had almost none, which meant that she was hugely dependent on the good opinion of others. She needed lots of reassurance, and had very little faith in her own ability or judgement.

The approach with Jenny was to strengthen her peer independence -- her ability to trust in her own judgement, independent of the views of others - and to build up her self esteem. She has now met somebody, changed her job and moved house -- all in the space of a year!

What these case studies illustrate is the complex nature of self confidence. It isnt like height or weight; you cant read off a single value which describes a person. Confidence is complex and to develop, we need to understand our confidence profile. I have subsequently made my confidence profile questionnaire available through the Confidence Club website http://www.confidenceclub.net

This has enabled me to build up an even larger database of confidence profiles, and allows people from all over the world to identify their particular areas for improvement.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self esteem development. He works with individual clients, with companies looking to de-stress their staff and through his Confidence Club website. http://www.confidenceclub.net

Why Podcasting Is An Essential Tool For Self-help Practitioners

The word podcast came about by combining Apple's "iPod" and the word "broadcasting" to create the birth of a new type of downloadable media that is fast becoming the latest craze!

Podcasting is a method of producing a media file (either audio or video) and uploading it to the internet, providing an opportunity for people to subscribe to and receive them automatically as they are uploaded.

What's great about podcasting is not only the fact that anyone who has something to say can now have a voice online, but also that listeners (and perhaps potential clients) can download and listen to your podcast at a time that suits them. No more being tied to having to tune in or watch at the same time each week.

Another advantage comes from listeners only having to subscribe once to your podcast and automatically receiving updates whenever you create them. This provides complete freedom and flexibility for the user.

According to research company The5B4 Diffusion Group 840,000 Americans listened to podcasts in 2004 and this number is forecast to increase to 56 million by 2010. Of course the biggest advantage of podcasts is the fact that it provides a convenient way to listen to unique content from a range of podcasters (people who create podcasts!).

No more having to tune into a radio/TV show, or listen to streaming media from a website, now you can download the show to your iPod, pda, mobile, Zune or other handheld device and listen to it on the train or in your car.

If you run your own business podcasting offers you a number of opportunities not only to stay in the hearts and minds of your current clients, but also to attract new clients and earn revenue from your products and/or service.

The opportunities for practitioners creating podcasts, the opportunity for potential revenue from creating podcasts, and the opportunity to appeal to a wider audience world wide will be ignored at your peril!

Here are 10 reasons why you should seriously consider riding the podcasting wave!

1. Establishing yourself as an expert in your industry - especially the personal development industry - is becoming a challenging prospect with more and more self-help and health related books, training and other services already on the market. A podcast provides the opportunity for people to get to know you and your work. Allowing you to quickly establishing yourself as an expert a5B4s your listeners increase.

2. Podcasts provide you with an opportunity to communicate with your audience on a world wide scale. Once your podcast has been created and submitted to podcast directories, the opportunity for people to download and listen to your information opens up fantastic possibilities.

3. Podcasts have an advantage over articles. You may have written hundreds of articles but the disadvantages are that the reader cannot feel the emotion behind the words. Also, the written word is subjective and open to interpretation from the reader. With podcasts you get to express emotions that can influence, entertain and inspire your listener.

4. There is an opportunity to create additional revenue from your podcast. Two reasons why podcasts may be popular (in my opinion) is the fact that they are free, and many of them contain little or no advertising. Just pure, hopefully informative, unique, entertaining content! You can use your podcast introductions and endings to let listeners know who you are, what you do, your website address/other content, and promote your products and services. Or create podcasts that focus on a particular product, or training method and promote that.

5. You have an opportunity to re-use your written work and create it into a media format. Whether you take that written word and create a video or audio the opportunity is there for you to dust off those old articles, thesis, half wrB68itten book and use them.

6. If you enjoy using metaphors, stories, prose or poems as a way of inspiring people then here is an opportunity for you to really have them come to life through your voice.

7. Podcasts provide an opportunity for you to take your unpublished work and distribute it to subscribers in the hope of it becoming so popular that it leads to a book or show (there are several stories of artists who were signed up after releasing songs from their albums). Imagine ending up with your own TV show because your weekly video podcast became so popular that the networks picked up on it!

8. It's a creative and fun process! Your podcast does not have to contain serious lecture style information. You can provide "fire side chats" where you inform and inspire. If you provide meditation services, this is an excellent way to allow subscribers to download your work and listen to it morning and night. You can interview an expert, or have someone interview you as the expert.

9. You can create "how to" videos for your subscribers, providing them with the ability to watch how to use your product, or how to get the most out of your service.

10. It provides an alternative method of communication for the visually impaired and in the future if "signing" is introduced to videos could also become a valuable source for the deaf and heard of hearing community.

The great thing about podcasting is the public will become your critic! If you know you are as talented and as great as a leading expert in your field but you just need the opportunity to get yourself known, then creating a podcast provides that opportunity.

The number of downloads to your show will be the measuring tool that will tell you if you are a hit or miss! And several podcast directories provide the opportunity for people to comment on and/or vote for their favourite podcasts.

Podcasting is a serious business and keeping up with new technology is important in any field if you are not going to be left behind. It will take a regular investment in time and creativity, and perhaps an initial investment in equipment (although you may already have more than you know!) but it is a fairly inexpensive form of marketing.

Creating a podcast is not an instant income generating marketing tool - but then who am I to place limits on what's possible! I believe it is a medium-term marketing strategy with long term advantages and benefits. Of course if you already have a large list of newsletter/ezine subscribers, you have a strong advantage.

As with anything new a period of learning is recommended, but as with anything new learnt well, it won't be long before you are motivating, inspiring and entertaining the world wide web with your media delights!

Diane Co4D2rriette is a Personal Growth Coach who works with podcasters looking to gain extra visibility by including their self-development podcasts on the Personal Growth Podcast Directory at http://www.personalgrowthpodcastdirectory.com Advertise your online business and submit your audio and video podcasts at http://www.womeninternetmarketers.tv

How to Build Confidence in Yourself One Day at a Time

Many of us have many goals and dreams we envision for our lives, but without self-confidence, we'll get nowhere with them. Building up confidence in yourself will give you the motivation you need to achieve everything you want out of life.

Here are three exercises you can try each day to gain the self-confidence you need.

Start a journal. A confidence-boosting journal should contain positive things you did for that day. Most people accomplish a lot of little things in the span of 24 hours, but don't really think of them as achievements.

By putting them in a journal each day, you see how they build up over the weeks, months, and years. You might start with the simple things - like five ways you paid a random act of kindness to a stranger or three thiB01ngs you did that helped further your career.

It can be something as simple as holding the door open for a little old lady or reading a book about saving for retirement. As you look back on your entries of positive accomplishments, it will give you motivation to achieve even more.

List your goals in baby steps. Instead of setting a goal to accomplish the whole thing at once, try breaking it down in tiny steps that need to meet each day. Each time you get to cross off the little steps, you gain more confidence in yourself and you'll empower yourself to reach the next step until you've achieved the primary goal.

If your goal is to save money for a vacation, you can plan tiny steps like placing $5 in a savings jar each day. You'll feel good knowing you've done seven things for yourself one week rather than waiting until you suddenly have $1,000 falling into your lap for your upcoming holiday.

Plus, if you fail to achieve your big goals, it can diminish the self-confidence you have built up, so small goals and baby steps help you gain the esteem you're lacking.

Read inspirational quotes. Search the Internet or purchase a book with lots of inspirational quotes on confidence or self-esteem. Read one of the quotes daily and see if you can apply it to your life throughout the day.

You can add it to your journal entry. If today's inspirational quote talks about greeting everyone you meet that day (instead of avoiding eye contact), and then try it. At the end of the day, you can journal it as one more positive thing you accomplished.

Tiffany Washko is the editor of Nature Moms, http://www.naturemoms.com - After working several years in corporate healthcare marketing and public relations, she took time away to be a mother. This new pursuit lead her to a new passion, natural family living and writing about environmental and political issues. She currently works as a freelance writer and newspaper journalist.

Finding A Mentor - How To Choose The Right Mentor To Help You Achieve Soaring Success?

A mentor can mean the difference between muddling along and achieving soaring success. That's if you find the right mentor. In fact, it seems that most successful people have had mentors or still have them, and many of them have several.

So there is no question that having a mentor can be extremely valuable. But in the internet marketing or the business world, they're not cheap unless you are lucky enough to be taken under the wings by someone at work.

And there seems to be no shortage of people eager to mentor you - for a price. In fact, in the world of sales funnels, mentorship programs are the ultimate high-end product. It's almost a required part of the product line-up, and sometimes it seems that everybody and their cousin is running a mentorship program these days. So the big question is this: How do you find the mentor who is right for YOU?

Here are seven key questions you should ask that will help you select a mentor who you will enjoy working with and who will help you achieve your goals:

1. What is it that the mentor offers to help you achieve? Does that match your goals?

2. Is the mentor in a position to actually help you with that? Does he or she have the know-how, the experience, the personal success record, and the contacts to really help you?

3. What exactly is actually offered in the mentorship program in terms of goods and/or services?

Teleconferences? How often? Will they be recorded? Personal phone conferences? Personal email support? Will the person look at your stuff? Or will all that be done by one of your mentor's "associates," if it is even available?

Whatever the answers to the above, will that work for you or would you like more (or less) contact and accountability?

4. What about references? Testimonials? Do you know people who have worked with them? How are they doing now? What is the feedback?

5. What is the price/benefit ratio? If price is an issue for you, do you see this mentorship pay for itself within a reasonable period of time? Feel free to include that point in your list of email questions (see next point).

6. If you really want to know what your future mentor candidates are like, look over their advertising materials and think of a few questions that would help you decide whether or not this might be a good fit. Send an email. Will you receive a prompt and thoughtful response? Or just more promotional materials? Or even a pushy sales pitch?

7. Do you like your potential mentor? Do you enjoy listening to his or her teleconferences? You will be listening to a lot of them over the next year. Is the person a good fit personality-wise? What this means is do you feel comfortable with them? Are they supportive or patronizing? Friendly or abrasive? Will that work for you?

If the answer is no or if this is a moot point because there will be no or minimal actual contact, run, don't walk, to find someone else.

If the answer is yes, and the answers to the other questions also pan out, you have found the mentor of your dreams. Sign up with confidence and enjoy your journey to soaring success.

And if you're ready to take that next step towards success, and you're in internet information marketing, check out http://www.myarticleguru.info and sign up for free weekly teleseminars and more.

For more resources for body, mind, spirit, prosperity and success, please visit Elisabeth's eclectic self-help blog http://www.myfavoriteselfhelpstuff.com and get a free e-book (or two) just for signing up for her free e-tips.

Where To Find Help When Hoping To Quit Smoking

There are a lot of individuals these days who wish to quit smoking for a variety of reasons. Many wish to do so for the benefit of their overall health whereas others want to stop smoking in order to please loved ones. Whatever the reason may be for doing so, quitting smoking is quite difficult for many and there is often the need for extra help in order to face this battle. There are a few places one can go in order to get help when they want to stop smoking and live a healthier lifestyle.

Smoking Cessation Medications and Other Aids

There is a plethora of smoking cessation products on the market these days. As more and more individuals express their desire to quit smoking, manufacturers of these products are trying their best to produce the best possible product on the market. Ranging anywhere from oral medications to external patches, smoking cessation aids might just be the thing that one needs in order to quit this type of habit. Before purchasing a certain type of aid try reading up on the different varieties so that you choose one which will not only work for you but also do so in a safe manner.

Self Help Books

For those who wish to stop smoking but do so without the help of medications or patches, self help books may provide the impetus which they need to quit. There are many different self help books written today which deal with the subject matter of smoking and how to quit the habit. Some books are short in page length whereas others are lengthier. There are so many different book options that you are certain to find a book which fits your individual tastes and may even help you get rid of the cigarettes once and for all.

The Internet

The Internet is a powerful resource for many reasons but may also help in the battle against smoking. Things such as informative websites, blogs and other resources online will provide a wealth of information for smokers who wish to quit. There are also groups which communicate via the Internet in order to help one another quit smoking as there is often power in number when it comes to quitting a certain habit.

Group Meetings

If you are the type of person who likes to discuss things with others in order to fix problems and get rid of a habit such as smoking, group meetings might be the perfect answer. As with AA and NA there are also groups where smokers get together in order to help one another quit and/or stay smoke-free. This is a good option for those who find it helpful to discuss their issues with others and will be best able to quit smoking when doing so in a group setting.

Craig Thornburrow is an acknowledged expert in his field. You can get more free advice on quitting smoking and withdrawal symptoms at http://www.supporttostop.com

Spiritual Movies