Thursday, September 3, 2009

Don't Buy Another Self-Help Book - They Don't Work!

Life is always going to present challenges to us and, yes, it's how we handle these bumps in the road that create our future. Diet, exercise, weight control, creating a career path, dealing with relationships, divorce, parenting issues, retirement and lifestyle transitions are some of the things that will most likely test us along the way. Well, it's about time someone told you, most of the time, self-help books don't work! Truthfully, dealing with life is twofold: the knowledge of "how" is everywhere; the hard part is taking the steps to change. Here's some of the knowledge - you decide what to do next.

1.) you are great, you have a reason for being here and you have family and friends who love and care about you; stay connected with all of the people and activities that are positive for you, that give you purpose

2.) life is about setting goals and making decisions; it's not about the end result, it's about the journey; what are the things in your life that you would like to be different and what can you do about them

3.) what and who will help you stay focused

4.) acknowledge your successes, even if they are small steps; any positive move is worth celebrating

5.) regularly create memories and have lots of fun; balance with everything in your life is needed to achieve true success with your goals

6.) you will always have times in your life that are confusing, anxiety ridden, stressful - this is how you handle them:

Dealing with Life in a nutshell!

+ staying in the game - it's about trying whatever ideas and opportunities come your way; life is a lesson, there are no mistakes, most directions can be changed, beating yourself up about the past is self-defeating, being proactive for yourself is the quickest way to find solutions and success

+ taking care of yourself - take your vitamins & medication, eat healthy meals, drink water, get plenty of rest, and keep your environment orderly

+ have faith in something - find, explore and educate yourself about your faith; religious faith, faith in relationships, faith in the cosmos, whatever grounds you to the universe and keeps life in perspective - it's not just about you!!

Do something regularly that reminds you of your faith -reading the Bible, praying, talking to your children and continuing to read and think on a "global" level!

+ ask for help when you need it - you would want the people you care about to feel like they could come to you when they needed help, so you are doing a disservice to those who love and care about you to not allow them the opportunity to help you

+ giving to others - you will be rewarded two fold for staying regularly involved in giving to others; those in pain, those in need, those who are less fortunate than you, those who just need a friend or someone to listen to them; this will keep you connected to the world around you and keep you from thinking about yourself too much Now, think about the things in your life that you would like to change. Make a list, if that would help, start with one thing and do it. If you are having trouble, call a Coach!!

Carolyn Bates is an ICF Certified Personal Life Coach

Specializing in successful life transitions and retirement for people 50 and older

Visit her website at

Sign up for her popular newsletter:

Your first consultation is always complimentary 830-598-8961

No comments: